29 Canadians You Won’t Believe Actually Exist

Those damn Canadians, eh.

1. The man who’s walking his pet beaver in a bee costume.

2. The Ontario man who found a baby moose, and then took it for coffee at Tim Hortons.

CTV News

CTV News

 

3. And the Alberta resident who tried to climb aboard a swimming moose.

The guy was fined $2,500 for harassing the moose.

4. The person who lost his fur coat-wearing monkey in a Canadian Ikea.

The owner apparently also put a diaper on the monkey.

5. This man, who got a poorly done Timmies tattoo.

7. This man just walking his baby goats.

8. And this man his bear.

13. These sisters.

14. The guy hauling a deer on his back while riding a bike through town.

15. The New Brunswick man who stopped a bear attack by GRABBING THE BEAR’S TONGUE.

Hear him retell the encounter with these ridiculous reenactment graphics.

16. Superman Pot Bong Guy on Toronto’s TTC.

17. Whoever’s responsible for getting a bison into his car while his dog rides in the back.

19. This kid smuggling beer at a Blue Jays game.

20. This man protesting winter.

21. The country’s “Chip Bandits” who stole limited edition BBQ chips from a woman’s home and made national news.

22. The snowblower who— you get the punchline.

23. This rebel gently taking down a sign before skating out of his sting operation.

24. This thief.

25. This man smooching a moose in his own backyard.

26. Kingston’s potato hurler.

Reports say he also hurled oranges.

27. Andy, horse dentist.

28. Vancouver mayor caught on tape smoking salmon.

29. And Toronto mayor — *heavy sigh as entire nation of Canada holds collective heads in hands* — Rob Ford.

Aaron Harris / Reuters

Aaron Harris / Reuters

 
Aaron Harris / Reuters

correction

The bicyclist in #14 is, in fact, carrying a deer on his back, and not a moose. A previous version of this post misidentified the animal. Knowledgable Canadians helped make that distinction.

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