Oh, your roommate will be on vacation? For several consecutive days? And you will have the dwelling all to yourself?
“Aww, miss you.” But don’t mind if you just:
2. And live in your skivvies for the week.
3. Ditch all customs and demarcations of human civilization. Dinner in a flower vase? You go for it.
4. Because you won’t have to do dishes until the the very night before they come home!
And they won’t even know! You’ll get all the credit for “keeping everything so tidy” while they were gone.
5. OR, alternatively, if you do clean while they’re gone, you get to live in all of the cleanliness without anyone messing it up!
6. DEROBE. YOU CAN LIVE IN YOUR BIRTHDAY SUIT FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION AND FOR ALL CIRCUMSTANCES :
8. Going to bed — NAKED.
11. Getting out of the shower — NAKED, SANS A TOWEL. DON’T NEED IT.
12. Play music. Any genre, at any volume, at any point.
13. Which means DANCE PARTY. ATTENDANTS: YOU. DRESS CODE: NAKED.
15. Taste and eat some of their food.*
*DON’T ACT LIKE YOU’VE NEVER DONE IT. Also, only some. Don’t be an asshole.
17. Exercise complete anarchy: leave cupboard doors open and your things in the common-space.
18. (Just, again, don’t forget to pick everything up the night before they come back. Like nothing happened.)
But then something happens…
19. Being free and naked is great, but after a few days, you begin to miss them.
20. And realize your roommate makes up exactly 50% of total social interactions in your days.
21. Until you’re actually counting down the days until they get back.
- The U.S. government is investigating possible unlawful coordination by some airlines to keep prices high ✈️
- Leaders of the U.S. Episcopal Church, which appointed an out gay bishop in 2003, have voted to let clergy perform religious same-sex marriages.
- The Women's World Cup final is set: Team USA and Japan will play on Sunday ⚽️