1. People will relentlessly make fun of you for saying “washroom” even though their terms are even more illogical.
BATHroom? RESTroom? You do NEITHER in there. But you do wash yourself in a WASHroom.
2. You’ll get marks off for perfectly good English in American schools.
3. And be told that these UNIVERSALLY-ACCEPTED spellings are weird and wrong.
4. In America, there are absurd costs and barriers for what you thought was a basic, natural right: health.
You’ve thought about paying for the flight home and using your holy Health Card because the total expenses is still probably cheaper.
5. You’ll miss good maple syrup. Nothing else will ever compare.
6. And search far and wide for some decent poutine.
7. You’ll even begin to CRAVE things you were pretty ambivalent about, like ketchup chips.
8. BeaverTails and Nanaimo Bars? YOU WOULD KILL FOR SOME RIGHT NOW.
9. You’ll quickly learn that no one knows anything about Canada.
At least outside of the stereotypes and, unfortunately, Rob Ford.
10. So you’ll be forced to become the ambassador of the whole country among your friends and co-workers.
11. People will assume you lived as an “eskimo,” and are completely immune to the cold.
They’ll also throw around the word “eskimo” not knowing that they are real indigenous people in your country.
12. (Although your aptitude for the winters will certainly come in handy.)
13. And, on top of that, that you’re a liberal pothead who only drinks Canadian craft beer.
Which is true…….. BUT STILL.
14. When you occasionally throw an “eh” at the end of your sentences, people will turn you into some kind of punchline joke.
16. But seriously, no matter how hard you try, just BEING Canadian makes you the target of such dumb one-liners.
17. You’ll spend most of your time defending and convincing others of just how important hockey is to the sports landscape.
18. Your Canadian pride will start to seep in at random moments, like whenever a Canadian celebrity is mentioned…
You immediately mentally note “YUP, OURS.”
19. …or during the Winter Olympics, when you’ll proudly pull out your red mitts.
20. …or even for internationally-recognized things, like Tim Hortons.
Even if you don’t like Timmies, because you’re like “YUP, STILL OURS.”
21. You’ll feel weirdly sentimental whenever Nelly Furtado or Nickelback comes on the radio.
Again, even if you don’t like them. Because you simply feel a unique emotional connection to them.
22. Not that you didn’t, but you’ll come to really appreciate just how friendly and kind Canadians truly are.
^A real card a Canadian kid sent.
23. And how thoughtful it really is when someone says “sorry” or “pardon.”
As unnecessary is it can be, when people aren’t apologizing or excusing themselves, it’s all you want to hear sometimes.