1. A round tin holding an assortment of remarkably basic butter cookies.
3. And even replaced with snacks of their childhood.
(Only because they came conveniently pre-divided.)
4. A hoarded stack of newspapers, catalogs, and/or solicitous pamphlets because there were COUPONS in them.
JUNK mail? Who’s the fool now.
5. And no bargains, no matter how useless, would go unused.
Your family did not have a baby, but your parents would still try to cash in this coupon.
6. Plastic plates and utensils that have been used, washed, and re-used.
7. Food (particularly yogurt) containers your mom recycled as tupperware for leftovers.
9. A heap of old appliances, computer monitors, and/or other dated electronics.
Usually stored in a corner of a basement — and NEVER disposed — because, according to your folks, it’s still stuff, and stuff is acquired by money, and money is hard to come by, and you should never throw away money.
10. And pristinely kept appliances, monitors, and/or other electronics because they’ve never actually left their packagings.
11. Oh yeah, and protected sofas. Because why have comfy PLUSH when you can have PLASTIC.
12. Framed photos of relatives back in the mother country, including some you’ve never even met.
13. …until you realized they were stock photos your parents never took out of the frame.
14. T-shirts (they probably copped on sale) with messages they probably don’t understand.
16. A stash of “natural home remedies” from their home country.
They had roots and spices and herbs for all your ailments, but no Tylenol.
17. Packed lunches that never looked as pretty or neat as PB&J.
No matter what, kids thought you were eating poop :(
18. Miscellaneous meat cuts and animal parts stowed away in your freezer.
Only one of many reasons you hesitated to invite your childhood friends over.
- And President Obama actually made his daughters laugh at the annual White House turkey pardon. ›