1. People with truly horrendous voices know that group karaoke is only a great time when you’re watching from the sidelines.
2. Which means the only way you’ll get in front of the mic is after 10 drinks, when you won’t be able to hear yourself.
3. You dread every moment you forget the name of a song and someone asks you to hum it.
4. Because even after you’ve humiliated yourself humming whatever semblance of the song, they still won’t be able to tell.
5. The only place you feel safe to sing is in your room, by yourself.
Ideally in a sound-quarantined-vacuum.
6. Or in the shower, when the shower pressure is loud enough to mask it.
7. But if you ever found out your roommate heard you, you would actually die inside.
And it would be the last time you ever shower-sang.