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21 Impossibly Difficult Situations For An Indecisive Person

Every decision is every regret waiting to happen.

1. Trying to pick a dinner spot with friends.

“Thai?”
Ummmmm not really feeling Thai tonight.
“How about that new burger place?”
Ermmmmmmmm…
“Mexican?”
Maybe… wait, no. I had Mexican last night.

2. …and once you’re there, trying to pick an entrée that perfectly satisfies your taste buds.

*Cue internal dialogue about each contending menu item*

3. When the fast-food cashier asks what fountain drink you want with your combo meal.

S/he just puts you on the spot like that. At least when you do it yourself you can put a little bit of EACH in your cup. No decision needed.

4. Making purchasing decisions about items in multiple colors/patterns that you EQUALLY love.

Whatever color/print you decide to go with will be followed by buyer’s remorse.
If only you had the budget to buy all of them.

5. Picking a selection on Netflix.

I kinda want to mindlessly binge-watch something in case I fall asleep but I also want to be engaged and learn something in case I don’t.

6. Choosing a food delivery site. Then choosing a food genre. Then choosing a place.

 

Grub Hub? Seamless? Delivery.com?
Thai? Burgers? Asian fusion?
“Blue Burger?” “Burger Haven?” “Burgers ‘R Us?”

….but wait. That Mexican place is 20% off today.

7. Those nights you’re lucky enough to have multiple plans, but then forced to commit to only one of them.

8. For example, what’s worse: FOMO from missing a great party or attending a LAME party.

These are pivotal questions for the most indecisive Friday nights.

9. The excruciating decision of whether or not you should get bangs.

Pool / Getty Images

Alex Wong / Getty Images

 

‘Cause once you go bangs, you can’t go back. At least for, like, six months.

10. And the painstaking plunge to getting that tattoo you’ve always wanted.

Except so much potential regret.

11. Committing yourself to grad school. Or not…

Will this investment ensure a job? YOU DON’T KNOW? Not good enough.

12. The intense moments in the check-out line when you make the final call on those extraneous groceries.

13. Shopping for basic things, like cereal.

Cereal. And different types of cereal. And different types of brand for each different type of cereal.

14. And whether you forego life necessities for, well, other life necessities.

Hmmmmmmm calcium or drunk. Hmmmmmmmm.

15. Playing (and suffering through) rounds of Would You Rather?

16. Those rare times in your life when you have some expendable income, but what do you spend it on???

17. And rarer times when two people want to work with you on a group project, and you have to choose.

18. When you’re asked questions like, “If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive…”

Anyone? In the history of humanity? Oh, shit. Can I get back to you tomorrow after I thoughtfully narrow down some options and further break down important criteria?

19. The important seconds before deciding to commit to the second half of a Subway sandwich if you’re almost full.

If you save less than half a Subway sandwich, you’ll have to get more food later to fill yourself off one-fourth of a sandwich and that’s just silly.

But you’re still a little bit hungry.

But you don’t want to be too full off a whole footlong.

DECISIONS, DECISIONS.

20. Selecting between two equally flattering profile pic contenders.

 

21. Essentially any anxiety-inducing decision-making moment that will determine the fate of the world and the trajectory of your life.

Because once you finally lock in your choice…

…YOU ARE RIDDLED WITH REGRET.

PENIS FOR FINGERS. I CHOOSE PENIS FOR FINGERS INSTEAD.

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