This is what Bieber might sound like if he was “edgier.” [Ed. note — Can someone please explain what if any product this is selling?]
Music Buzz I can't. I just don't understand any of this at all.
Celebrity Buzz Everyone is talking about how this girl's wedding didn't last. I didn't even know you liked Star Trek!
TV Buzz What is this. I can't even…Rage. Building. Ignorance. Painful. No Ginia Bellafante. So much is wrong with the things you were allowed to publish that I must insist you turn your ovaries in immediately.
An oldie but goodie, this video features a gal of a certain age performing a “face exercise,” single-handedly validating the therapy boom of the eighties. Incidentally, she also makes a great case against Botox.
Music Buzz We've always found Shakira odd, with the belly dancing and Kermit-with-a-frog-in-his-throat vocal quality, but her new video for “She Wolf” makes her the official mayor of Crazytown. If doing The Lawn Mower inside a giant vagina, wearing Lady GaGa's rejects, and writhing in a cage, Dirrty-style, is what it's like on Shakira's planet, then we're going to start checking rates for spaceship rentals.
I wish I had an explanation, but then again, I kind of don't, y'know? Because, really, what can you say about a flock of village children pouring out of a van being held back by shirtless Spiderman as he protects a flock of ducklings? (Thanks, Jackie!)