The question to ask here is not “why?” but “how did this man survive an entire flight with two live pigeons stuffed down his pants?”

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The Best Links:

1. Customs officials also seized an “undeclared aubergine.”

CELEBRITY BUZZ: That scar on Tina Fey's left cheek? It is the result of a random slashing in Fey's front yard when she was 5 years old. WTF? I thought that slashing was only something that happened in S.E. Hinton books. And to Liz Lemon, in hallucinations.

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The Best Links:

1. “She just thought somebody marked her with a pen”
2. “Fey says talking about the attack would seem like exploiting it.”
3. Tina’s Vanity Fair cover article

CULTURE BUZZ: Three Texas cheerleaders are this week's victims of the Ex-Lax Crackdown. Not only are laxative pranks now considered a crime, but you can even be charged as an accessory, simply for helping your daughter give cookies to her teacher. The lesson here is: stick to Saran Wrap for your bathroom-prank needs.

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The Best Links:

1. Parents threaten charges over laxative, Clorox, and rat poison brownies
2. NYC teens arrested for serving laxative cake to teachers
3. Mom charged for helping daughters make laxative cookies as a teacher gift
4. Minnesota teen charged with two felonies
5. Lloyd’s Revenge
6. Canada does not appreciate laxative pranks, either.
7. Laxatives at the Olympics