Skyler Stone invites some Twilight super-fans to an exclusive premiere of New Moon, but instead gives them a last minute lesson on what is and what isn't a vampire. As is the case with most interventions, the Twilight fans didn't seem thrilled to learn that they had a problem.

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Link: http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/mary-hk...

Internet candy: The Awl's Natasha Vargas-Cooper and Mary HK Choi break down the latest Twilight movie for your enjoyment. The Jordan Catalano call is pretty much spot-on.

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Not that Taylor Lautner isn't supremely attractive (homosaywhat?), but nothing reveals the mark of a Sexy Mom using YouTube quite like reading “Is he legal yet???” scrawled across a teenager's abs. We can see the porn title already: Vampires, Werewolves, and Cougars, Oh My!

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The Best Links:

1. via Z103

We don't really follow Twilight , but we do follow adult vampires dressed like Count Chocula. Someone dress up Taylor Lautner as Teen Wolf, stat!

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Kristen Stewart (of Twilight fame, Jesus, read an US Weekly ) has been rocking quite the mullet on her New Moon press tour. It's a statement! Some other famous people should really try it out.

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The Best Links:

1. 15 Celebrities That Look Hot With Kate Gosselin’s Hair Style - Featured on BuzzFeed

Aubrey Plaza and Internet Fat Guy John Gemberling star in Twilight: Three Wolf Moon. [ via ]

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Hey everyone, it's New Moon Week! Here are some vampire-inspired tote bags, wallets, and onesies for you to wear to the midnight showing on Thursday. (Thanks to Etsy and Regretsy for enabling this merchandise.)

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1. Blame Andy for this idea.

I've never seen Twilight, but for some reason I thought it was about vampires. Had I known it was actually about ice cream cake, I would have considered seeing it.

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This chick is going to be the shocked person on Maury in like 3 weeks. Todd FTW.

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Two things I kind of non-ironically love! Also, how much does she look like Bella? Amazingly creepy.

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The Best Links:

1. Twilight : New Moon - MUSIC VIDEO SPOOF
2. Pantless Knights on YouTube, see their other spoofs
3. Ms. TakenRing on Twitter

CULTURE BUZZ: The Harvard Lampoon will release a parody novel of Twilight about a young high school student named Belle Goose who moves to Switchblade, Oregon, and meets Edwart Mullen, a “super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls.” If anything, it'll be a book that you can finally relate to.

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The Best Links:

1. Twilight Dildo
2. Bored of the Rings
3. Harvard Lampoon Publishes First Parody in 40 Years
4. via Perez Hilton: A Twilight Parody; Guard Your Loins, Publishers!

A Utah corn farm has carved likenesses of Edward and Jacob, two characters from the upcoming New Moon movie, into their fields in celebration of the film's November release. Regardless of which team's maze you choose to explore, everyone loses.

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Edward Cullen is the name of the monster from Twilight or something. And now you can have a shower curtain with his face on it, which is not creepy at all. Recommendation (if you do buy this): Hang it up facing inwards so Edward's disembodied head can watch you while you shower. ( Via Geekologie .)

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FINALLY! A clever vampire mashup mixes the witty world of Buffy with the sappy dramatics of Twilight, because you know Buffy wouldn't take the creepy Edward Cullen stalking. Note to Twilight fans: don't hurt me!

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1. Created by Rebellious Pixels
2. via Metafilter

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Twilight star Rob Pattinson was hit by a cab while fleeing a legion of rabid teenage girls in front of the Strand Bookstore on Broadway and 12th Street in New York. He was unharmed. Stay tuned for more updates as this story progresses, and feel free to add your thoughts and prayers for Rob Pattinson and the Twilight series in the comments.

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The Best Links:

1. Robert Pattinson Hit By Cab!
2. Rob Pattinson Hit By Cab!
3. Report: Robert Pattinson Hit by Taxicab
4. ‘Twilight’ Star Robert Pattinson Hit By Cab in New York City

“Twilight With Cheeseburgers” is a parody trailer spoof that works on many levels.

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Someone has been reading waaaaay to much twilight.

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: The young actress will “sink her teeth” (like a vampire, which is a joke) into a role in the sequel to tween sensation Twilight . To be honest, we were so gunning for Pepsi Girl .

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The Best Links:

1. Dakota Looks Toward “New Moon”
2. “We’re Pretty Sure She’ll Have Kristin Stewart’s Role by the Time Drew Barrymore Directs the Third Film”
3. Is Twilight Beneath Dakota’s Dignity?

An artistic tween made a model womb and fetus to represent Bella from Twilight's . It comes complete with a “felted mutant fetus.” I don't really know anything about 'Twilight' so I don't get the significance behind the womb, but this was just too weird not to post.

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The Best Links:

1. CREEPY!!! I always knew Twatlight fans were ridiculous, but this is super extreme….

Link: http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_...

Basically, it's Twilight in 10 minutes (instead of 2 hours) and minus the screaming girls. With lines like: “I'm just a hollow placeholder for all of the teenage girls in the audience to project their personalities onto,” Cracked takes a crack at summarizing hit vampire movie, Twilight .

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