Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stoned by J.K. Rolling. Thanks to #weedreads on Twitter.
“Did people waste time before the internet existed?”
As found by @pentametron, the internet’s best rhyming couplet robot.
Let’s be real: Regular jobs are hella boring.
Either way, these little nuggets of wisdom will change your life. Forever.
Be honest, when was the last time you even thought about Ryan Cabrera?
“My job: to terrify kids.”
Welcome to the brandwagon.
Astrophysicist with attitude.
The king of horror? More like the king of sass.
Cristina Fernández de Kirchner pinned the tweet to the top of her timeline, and seemed unapologetic in a follow-up tweet. She is at the center of a crisis in Argentina involving the death of prosecutor Alberto Nisman.
Don’t judge – we’ve all been there.
He Has Sum Crazy Deep Thots About You. Use our official @officialjaden Tweet Generator to find out.
“Given women generally struggle to read maps it’s a little ironic the voice on the Sat Nav given [sic] directions is a female.”
Only monkeys believe in climate change. #Blizzard
Officer Phillip White’s tweets were “troubling, not criminal,” according to the Santa Clara County District Attorney’s Office.
As of their social media mix-up this morning, DD officially stands for Doing Drugs.
What you really mean on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and Facebook.
Pressure is continuing to build on the San Jose Police Department, after BuzzFeed News exposed the controversial tweets made by one of its officers against civil rights protesters.
“By the way if anyone feels they can’t breathe or their lives matter I’ll be at the movies tonight, off duty, carrying my gun,” Officer Phillip White tweeted.
“I wrote the article.”
“Kids will be Kids?”
Increase your vocabulary. And your street cred.
And some people seem to agree.
Crows-*what*-across the face?!
“At this point I’m so used to it. It still bothers me, but I just expect it.”