Baby turtles: because looking at these guys will make you feel better than looking at Taylor Swift's nude pictures any day of the week. For the previous round of gratuitous baby turtle pics, click here.
I never get tired of footage of Angus the tortoise. I think it must be his kilt. It’s hard to resist a tortoise in a kilt.
OK, I get it. Tortoises make odd squeaky noises and have inexplicable attractions to inanimate objects. Especially shoes. But it's time to start being more creative with these videos because they're clogging up Youtube. Here some examples of where I think we should be going with these.
Keep your backyard clear of unwanted wildlife with a Sulcata Tortoise. (via reddit)
No, no one's holding them up. I don't see any hands. What are you talking about?
Some context: right before this video started, a dragonfly attacked a passing butterfly and the two tumbled into the creek. A snapping turtle comes to investigate the situation, and the butterfly makes an incredible escape.
To be honest, I'm not sure what kind of creature is riding that tortoise either. But in the animal world, tortoises must be the equivalent of taxi cabs.
OH GOD IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD. Let this be a lesson to you all: obey the turtle.
Tortoises rarely vocalize. When they do, you can be sure that they have something important to say.
My turtles sometimes like to rearrange the shrubbery in their tank, but they haven't graduated to redecorating the patio yet.
Spoon feeding a tortoise is all kinds of adorable, but you have to wonder how spoiled she'll be when she grows up.
Amateur herpetologists know Koopa the Box Turtle as the turtle who paints. But he's also pretty good at lip synching, despite the fact that he doesn't have any lips.
What you've suspected all along is true; turtles just want to be ninjas. And this little guy is an especially adorable one.
Chelonaphobia is an extreme fear of turtles. This woman appears to have a really bad case of it. Unless you're a strawberry, you have little to fear from a box turtle.
Lula is an 11 month old toddler, and Leonard is an African Leopard Tortoise. Despite their differences, they are the best of friends. And somehow, playing together magnifies their individual cute factor by a gazillion and two. (via Neatorama and Tortoiseblog.)
This is an quick and effective test. You will need at least two tortoises. Simply flip over one tortoise, and see if the other comes to help it.
Science Buzz Snapping Turtles are often maligned because people think they're mean and scary looking. But they're actually pretty fun to hang out with. Don't believe me? Here are some facts about snappers that might change your mind.
This is a (thankfully time-lapsed) weekly ritual for turtle owners without filtration systems. One guy spends a ridiculous amount of time cleaning out turtle pools. The turtles are pretty cute, so that must be why he's doing it.
Culture Buzz I really don't know what's worse here — the kinky shoe-loving tortoises, or the owners that film them and post them to Youtube. I guess the squeaking is somewhat endearing.
I love watching tortoises eat. But watching this guy chow down on buttercups is especially sublime. [N.B.: Probably don't feed your tortoise buttercups, as it's not always good for them, even though it's cute.]
Pretty nice moves. Slow and steady always wins the dance competition. (Via.)
Culture Buzz Angus the tortoise frequents Renaissance Fairs in Minnesota. Unusual enough, right? Except Angus goes in costume and solicits donations for the Minnesota Herpetological Society. If you've never seen an armed tortoise in a kilt or carting around fairy folk, now's your chance.
Take this, kittens on a slide. This tortoise is coordinated and just as cute. (For Joy)