Culture Buzz What in Kardashian-inspired hell is this sketch? Something to do with a girl group singing to “Dreamgirls,” but I'm not laughing… (via ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com)
Culture Buzz This girl is upset because someone made her dump out her alcohol when in a public restroom so now she won't have any for her holiday formal. Merry Christmas to drunk girls everywhere! (via thrillist.tumblr.com)
Culture Buzz Nothing quite says “Happy Birthday” than your mom verbally harassing you on film so you can remember how terrible your 13th birthday was.
TV Buzz The Silver Fox is also standing up for the “cool parents” who let their 16 year old daughter marry that guy from Lost.
A collaboration with his protege, Hot Rod, cleverly/subtly/allegorically/poetically titled “Osama bin Laden is Dead.” It's got a sick beat for dancing away your humanity. Just wait for the awesome Charlie Sheen break down. Trust me, you'll be humming this as it drives you to stick your head in the oven.
Culture Buzz If you saw the previous installment of Police Report Theater, then you can hazard a guess. This man was arrested for drunk driving after plowing through the tape of a crime scene in Portland, Oregon. We'll let the reporter from Fox 12 fill you in on what police found in his car. He was, uh, “driving a manual.” Seriously though…twice in one week?
Rutgers University holds an annual music festival and street party called Rutgersfest. Here is one example as to why the New Brunswick Police Director calls it “the worst thing of the year.” There were also four shootings during the event. Welcome to New Jersey!
Celebrity Buzz Charlie Sheen hulks out at the second, supposedly-not-quite-as-terrible night of his My Violent Torpedo of Truth tour. Lookin' pretty fit for a 45-year-old crazy person. More over at Celebuzz.
Culture Buzz Photographs of a stark raving naked man at the very moment he was decked in the face for nudely grinding on people at the Ultra Music Festival. We didn't have to make the censor badges very big, if you catch our innuendo about his small genitals. More, including video, over at Barstool Boston.
Celebrity Buzz In a passage that wasn't published in his new book, author and journalist Neil Strauss recounts a run-in he had with Paris Hilton in which she admitted she “can't stand black guys.” The whole exchange is pretty jaw-dropping. And if you didn't pick it up from the “Saving Private Ryan” hint, they're talking about Vin Diesel.
Spring Break at a Panama City Burger King consisted of flying utensils, napkin dispensers used as blunt trauma weapons, plus a woman in a bikini leaping on the counter and bashing an employee in the head with a water jug. It was a BK Triple Stacker of violence. Almost as good as Tranny Brawl At Taco Shop. Almost.
Celebrity Buzz Lindsay Lohan, as would any normal basketball fan, went to a New York Knicks game in a nearly transparent blouse. Her enthusiasm for basketballery was also on display. More over at Celebuzz. Use our image editor at the bottom of the page to insert Lindsay and her enthusiasms into photos of your choosing!.
This guy was arrested after using his skateboard to bash a photographer who attempted to take a shot of his hair. Why he would want to hide such a beautiful mane from the world is a mystery. Hate crimes have been replaced by hair crimes.
Culture Buzz The Situation's comedy routine at the roast of Donald Trump was instantly hailed the worst thing ever, but it somehow just got worse. Comedy Central deemed a joke aimed at Snoop Dogg as too racist and cut it from the broadcast. Here is that joke, plus a few more offensive cracks at the expense of Marlee Matlin and Larry King that were omitted, as told by the The Leprechaun from “Leprechaun.” Y'know, because it's St. Patrick's Day. Shut up.
Celebrity Buzz Actress Renee Ostead in a series of dirty photos. Who is Renee Olstead exactly? Apparently a star of The Secret Life of an American Teenager. Regardless, having joined the prestigious Teen Starlets From Wholesome Youth Programming Taking Filthy Cell Phone Pictures Of Themselves Club, she's famous now. Even NSFWer photos over at I Heart Chaos.
Sometimes these headlines just write themselves. San Diego taco shops are very vibrant.
Culture Buzz It's been a long day of heartbreaking news. Let's unwind with the definition of frivolous: a Charlie Sheen Flash game where you run over pedestrians and prostitutes with a car. Once you power up with tiger blood, you can blow up ambulances. Surprisingly diverting!
Surveillance footage of a brawl in a Los Angeles Mexican restaurant, refried with a Street Fighter soundtrack. Would you like your tacos soft shell or hard ass?
Is this man an urban folk hero or a feces-flinging psychopath? You be the adjudicator! Always pick up after your dog. Or else.
Yes, this is real. And, hearkening back to the glory days of awful porno title puns, it's called “The King's Piece.” Don't worry, the trailer is safe for work.
A hypnotic Chinese ad for some sort of boob-smooshing corset device. We now have a smutty infomercial gap with China. I don't have any idea what they're saying in this commercial. Quite frankly, I don't really care.
Culture Buzz A feminist political activism organization in the Ukraine, Femen stages street protests against everything from sex tourism to Silvio Berlusconi. These protests are almost always topless. Solidarity. Get these ladies to Wisconsin!
Celebrity Buzz Everyone's favorite meerkat-eyed lingerie enthusiast and sometimes sort-of-actress, Taylor Momsen, pulled a shirtless young woman onstage during a recent musical performances. That's so Taylor.
Culture Buzz The Supreme Court ruled that the anti-gay demonstrations of the Westboro Baptist Church, including picketing military funerals, were protected by the First Amendment. Here are some other folks exercising their First Amendment rights by paying homage to Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps. These are the handful circulating around the internet that aren't X-rated.
TMZ unearthed this text from last week, sent by Charlie Sheen to Brooke Mueller, detailing how he wanted to “execute” his manager, Mark Burg. Charlie Sheen is winning (at being a creepy person)!
Kanye West posted this photo on Twitter with the statement, “Set off the metal detectors with the Swag.” The TSA was calling in dump trucks and still stripping him of swag as of presstime. Just kidding. We don't have a presstime. We're the internet!
Celebrity Buzz From last night in London, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas get into a scuffle with a paparazzo. There are, of course, photos. They're both so beautiful when they're angry. More over at PopEater.
Obesity epidemic? What obesity epidemic? We're going to need three ketchups for all of those White Kasuls. Also, get some cerail for desert.
With Ron Jeremy as The Penguin! Don't worry, it's safe for work.
Celebrity Buzz The star of Teen Mom now has a grownup nude photo scandal, just like a real celebrity! That's quite the tattoo. More over at Egotastic.