Including the “Everyone On This Train Hates You” face, just for people who play their music loud.
If you can survive this, you can handle anything.
Life is hard enough, but some things just make it harder.
HAHAHA I’M NOT AT COMIC CON AND IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE. I’M FINE.
I’ve got 99 problems but a license ain’t one.
Have you left a voicemail today?
So you’ve FINALLY decided to make the first move. What could go wrong?
♫ Dating is the worssssssst ♪
They should be banned from the world, basically.
Alternate title: New York Shitty.
Heavy cream, vanilla extract, and sugar never tasted so horrible.
Try to make it through this video without going into a rage.
Destroying b-day celebrations since the beginning of time.
Presented in two GIFs.
Sometimes umbrellas are super helpful and keep the rain off your stuff. The rest of the time, they’re awful.
It was the longest 4 years of my life.
Sure, they’re innocent and sometimes adorable. But also, they’re awful.
How long can you make it through this “Hello Courtney” video? It just may be the worst video in the history of the world. I’m so sorry.
Sorry to ruin your day, but someone shot a sea lion in the face in Sacramento, leaving the poor thing writhing in pain as he keeps his head in the air, struggling to breathe. Congratulations, Stranger Who Shot Sea Lion In The Face. You are officially a monster. [UPDATE: If you’d rather not watch a sad video, you totally don’t have to. -Eliot] View Media ›
Congratulations for inking the most offensive thing onto your body. Permanently. View Image ›
After smack-talking America’s coastal residents, outspoken conservative Everybody Loves Raymond actress Patricia Heaton managed to make a colossal ass of herself on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, furthering evidence that the amount of junk pumped into your face is, in fact, related to a loss of brain cells. And note the cameo by Elaine Benes at 1:21 (never stop dancing, Patty!). Watch Video ›
Just because Wifey continues to dress him like a tween doesn’t mean we won’t notice Larry King’s eye patch. Which one’s the robot and which one’s the dinosaur? Place your bets! View Image ›
Take one part Gotti Bros. one part Jon Gosselin, sprinkle in a date rape, and you’ve got Bobby Bottleservice, comedian Nick Kroll’s top notch d’bag character creation. This brings back vivid memories of my classmates at Long Island’s Acqua di Gio Nightmare High. No, seriously. View Media ›
The skinny jean for men continues to dominate fashion (as designers attempt to push it on bros now, too), as illustrated in one reporter’s journey into Williamsburg, Brooklyn - the epicenter of impossibly narcissistic hipsterdom - where denim leggings is the pant of choice. Despite my own personal clueless sense of fashion (which tends to never progress beyond “Hobo Goes Yachting”), I think it’s safe to say that pilgrim shoes + visible junk = the worst. Unless, of course, you think your band is amazing. View Media ›
Straight from the PBS show Many Voices, Many Vision comes this winning clip in which a young Caucasian girl is cursed with “looking like a Black boy,” thanks to her stylish perm. PBS, we found your weakness, and don’t expect a tote bag or Three Tenors CD to get you out of this mess. Watch Video ›
Remember Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher? Unfortunately, so do the good folks at Christianity Today, who decided to let him announce that he would never let “queers” near his children. Furthermore, he claims to have gay friends who, despite his opinions, are going to “do their thing.” Wurzelbacher, however, declined to specify whether “their thing” included “eating children.” Read More ›
Last night, not-so-secret cross-dresser and American Idol contestant scared the sh*t out of America (or, at least, Randy Travis and I) with his bizarre, smug, cheesalicious desecration of Johnny Cash classic “Ring of Fire.” It seems inevitable that the musical theater vet will soar through the competition, but not without polarizing the audience in the same way he completely confused Randy Travis, who claimed Lambert “threw [him] for a loop…although he seems like a very nice guy.” (Southern gentlemanly translation: “…the f*ck?”) Watch Video ›