Nathaniel Hawthorne vs. The Situation!
Nathaniel Hawthorne vs. The Situation!
Apparently, it’s all about “babies and branding.”
Why did this happen? WHO LET THIS HAPPEN? Isn’t PETA supposed to protect animals? Not subject them to…this?
We talked to Beau Mirchoff and Brett Davern about whether or not it’s going to be “Awkward” when they sit behind the cast of the Jersey Shore (because their show, Awkward, was renewed while the shore was canceled). Also, The Situation apparently owes Beau $100!
Who has the reach to top the Kardashians’ purported $40 million television deal?
He probably benches 350 pounds.
With Snooki being pregnant and responsible these days, last night’s season finale of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” could very well be the end of the series. Herewith, all of the last-hurrah’s, hijinks, and now-poignant goodbyes of the original “Jersey Shore” cast.
It’s a claim that ex-“Jersey Shore” cast member Angelina has been suggesting since she parted ways with the show and now Snooki and JWoww are telling The Huffington Post that The Situation is, in fact, a closeted homosexual. Suddenly, all of Mike’s failed attempts at hooking up with girls at the club make so much sense.
Ha ha ha!! View Image ›
I don’t wear your clothes Abercrombie. Where’s my check?
Because steroids turn grown men into slap-happy, emotional housewives, Ronnie apparently made The Situation’s face look like this.
After totally unloading on his son in an interview with TMZ, The Situation’s dad claims that the Jersey Shore star once got fired from a job for receiving a BJ from a 40-year-old co-worker and then claimed sexual harassment. Nothing but class on all fronts here. Watch Video ›
Gym, tan, rescue princess. These guidos are stompin’ goombas! (Sorry.) View Image ›
The Situation has a list of demands for his club appearances that is so ridiculous, you’d almost think he was someone with talent.
An equal and opposite reaction to the Hipster Trap. Spotted outside of a New York City bar, this spring-loaded snare contains Drakkar Noir cologne, bronzer, a schedule for the Long Island Railroad, PATH tickets, hair gel and a gold chain. If she were caught in one, Snooki would gnaw her own leg off. View Image ›
The Situation’s comedy routine at the roast of Donald Trump was instantly hailed the worst thing ever, but it somehow just got worse. Comedy Central deemed a joke aimed at Snoop Dogg as too racist and cut it from the broadcast. Here is that joke, plus a few more offensive cracks at the expense of Marlee Matlin and Larry King that were omitted, as told by the The Leprechaun from “Leprechaun.” Y’know, because it’s St. Patrick’s Day. Shut up. View List ›
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino’s Magic The Gathering card: GTL, double strike, boardwalk (This creature is unblockable as long as defending player is also on a Jersey boardwalk.) When The Situation comes into play, put four 1/1 Guido creature tokens onto the battlefield. T2: Until end of turn, all Guidos have “3, Sacrifice this creature and put a Guido Grenade into play: Guido Grenade then deals 5 damage to one target.” View Image ›
He starts off okay, but things get really painful fast. The Ice-T crowd shot is PRICELESS. Watch Video ›
And fails at said attempt.
In preparation for his new movie Never Say Never, Justin Bieber got some fancy celebrity endorsements from Pauly D and the Situation. So that’s where Bieber gets his swag from! View List ›
SO CUTE. I want a baby Snooki!!! View Image ›
“The Situation” won’t be flexing his famous abs near the Plaza Hotel any time soon, say insiders.
Want fab abs like the Situation? Or a good laugh? Work out with the Sitch. Watch Video ›
If you can get through this without the aid of homebrew Four Loko, God speed. While it’s without hyperbole the worst thing ever made in the history of making things, it is truly an effective PSA for contraception. You will never want children to be born into a world where this ad can exist. Watch Video ›
Bristol Palin and “The Situation” just made some weird, misguided, deeply awkward PSA about safe sex. I can’t wait til Bristol’s child is old enough to hear himself referred to as a “consequence” and a “situation.” Mother of the year! Watch Video ›