TV BUZZ: New show on MTV re-edits Hills footage with a goofy guy in drag. Retardedly amazing or amazingly retarded? I can’t wait for this!!!

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The Best Links:

1. MTV Press Release Has the Scoop on More, More, and More Hills Programming
2. Intellectualizing “The Hills” - Featured on BuzzFeed
3. Best Week Ever Has Exclusive Preview
4. “Actually Looks Funny”

CELEBRITY BUZZ: The fashion designer and star of The Hills has signed a three-book deal with Harper Collins, where her first publication will be a semi-autobiographical novel called L.A. Candy due for release next summer. Note to aspiring authors: if you’re wealthy, attractive, and willing to have every aspect of your life executive-produced, you too can achieve the dream!

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The Best Links:

1. Lauren Conrad Inks a Three-Book Deal…For Books She’s Going to Write…All By Herself
2. Working Title: “LA Candy”

CELEBRITY BUZZ: The P.R. maven — already known to fans of The Hills — is a burgeoning reality star. She’ll be more of a presence on the next season of The Hills, and may figure prominently in an upcoming spin-off show, but more importantly she’s just kind of bad ass.

The Best Links:

1. Observer Profile: “She boasts a what-the-fuck attitude that betrays punk-rockish roots.”
2. Bullet-List Version of the Observer Piece
3. Cutrone’s Business — People’s Revolution
4. Kelly Cutrone in a “Hills” Spin-Off
5. “If you read only one thing today, let it be the Observer profile of Kelly Cutrone.”

CELEBRITY BUZZ: In the new Whitney Port Hills-spinoff, she supposedly pals around with do-nothing socialite blogger, Olivia Palermo. She’s got that weird ageless society-gal thing, where they paradoxically look youthful and fresh-faced, yet also like rich old ladies.

The Best Links:

1. Who the hell is “socialite” Olivia Palermo?
2. The Observer Reports: Hills Spinoff Will NOT Include Olivia Palermo :(
3. Olivia on MySpace (Wait, She’s Only 22???)
4. Whitney Port May Star In Spin-Off Fake Reality Series, Seeing Hanging Out with Olivia
5. Catfight! Cindy Adams vs. Olivia Palermo
6. Olivia Palermo MAY Appear on The New Whitney Port Reality Show
7. Olivia Palermo Fan Site
8. The Infamous Letter That Shot Olivia Palermo To Fame
9. Olivia Palermo Photo Gallery

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the notorious couple from The Hills, have announced the launch of their own social networking website Speidiweb. Watch out, Mark Zuckerberg! Heidi and Spencer claim their site does everything Facebook and Myspace does, and more. The site’s been down for the past few hours (hax0rs??) so we can’t verify if this claim is actually true or not.

The Best Links:

1. Here’s the Official Site
2. Connect To Your Assholes, And Your Assholes’ Assholes
3. A Website Where They Post All of Their Uber-posed “Candid Shots”
4. Heidi and Spencer Reveal All
5. The Site Is Down - Does That Mean Their Relationship Is, Too?
6. 15 “Candid” Pics of Heidi and Spencer Vacationing in Mexico

CULTURE BUZZ: A quiz that displays o-faces and implores you to guess whether it’s a screen from the Hills or a porno. That was fun! Okay, back to Weboggle.

The Best Links:

1. Take the Quiz Here!
2. This Game Is Pretty Easy So Far, Although I Got Stumped on #4

TV BUZZ: Audrina’s scummy ex-boyfriend from The Hills lands a modeling gig for men’s label, Orthodox. So cold, yet so hot. We felt kind of evil inside for being disappointed when Audrina dumped Justin Bobby in hopes of finding a healthy relationship.

The Best Links:

1. Justin Bobby Mentioned in New York Times Blog
2. ” the Return Or Thank God Because I Was Starting to Get Bored”
3. Johnny Depp Wannabe Lands Ad Campaign
4. He’s Also Considered “The Poor Man’s Vincent Gallo”
5. Justin Bobby Gets a Haircut! Or Is He Just Sporting a New Updo?
6. Justin Bobby, We Haven’t Forgotten About You
7. Psyhoanalyzing Justin Bobby: Did MTV Invent Justin Bobby? He Seems So…Real
8. Doodle of Justin Bobby and Audrina from The Hills

CULTURE BUZZ: A new web series that re-enacts the Hills using old folks. Old people make everything more poignant! Not that making the Hills more poignant is much of a challenge.

The Best Links:

1. Over The Hills Video Channel at Heavy.com
2. Why “Over The Hills” Does Meta Right
3. The Elderly Might Care, if They Knew How to Use Computers
4. “Much better acting than the actual show.”
5. And then LC Comes Out in a WALKER!