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The most shocking thing about kids these days? They don’t care about TV.

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This is what happens when you buy “pot” from the mall.

Keenan returns!

Not that Taylor Lautner isn't supremely attractive (homosaywhat?), but nothing reveals the mark of a Sexy Mom using YouTube quite like reading “Is he legal yet???” scrawled across a teenager's abs.

Cute, skinny, teenaged Seth Rogen tells a lot of Jewish jokes.

Producers likely inspired by the jaw-dropping profit of High School Musical are debuting in this new musical led by a cast comprised exclusively of teenagers.

The Best Links:

1. The Show’s Tagline: “A New Musical About the Labels That Last a Lifetime.” (…Intense, No?)
2. A Cast Comprised Solely of Teenagers? Sounds Like a Dream.
3. “A Funny, Exciting Love Letter to Childhood”
4. 13 The Musical
5. “What It Means To Be A Friend” [Like “Mean Girls” With Music]
6. The Cast Performs at “Broadway On Broadway”

The MTV show — which has suffered increasingly sagging ratings — will end its 10-year-run in November, when it will air a two-hour special on a Saturday afternoon.

The Best Links:

1. MTV Cancels Its Last Show
2. WTF is FNMTV, and Why is It Pretty Awesome?
3. Remember Jesse Camp???
4. The History Behind 10-Year-Old TRL
5. FNMTV The New TRL?
6. TRL Ends (“But Will Be Back,” Assure Producers)

“All The Way Around”, the first single off Ali Lohan’s upcoming album, has been released online.

What’s up with all the babies making babies? While some blame President Bush’s insistent promotion of abstinence (or its medical term “Genitalia Imaginaris”), others think that old sleeper hit Juno is to blame.

The Best Links:

1. Tabloids to Blame?
2. Abortion Rates Falling - Thank You, Juno?
3. “Here Comes ‘The Baby Borrowers’ to Deglamorize Parenthood All Over Again! “
4. Juno Makes Teen Pregnancy “Absurdly Simple”
5. Baby Bumps: The New Uggs?
6. Teen Pregnancy Rates On The Decline? Jezebel Weighs In
7. Pro-lifers Couldn’t Be Happier
8. “Entrusting and Empowering Women With Their Own Reproductive Decisions Might Be a More Auspicious Strategy for Reducing Overall Abortion Numbers Than Seeking to Impose Draconian and Patronizing Juridical and Legislative Bans and Bars to Abortion” [Okay, So What Are You Trying To Say?]

Contestant in the 2008 National Spelling Bee mistakes “numnah” for “numbnut.”

Chilean youth calling themselves “pokemones” are rebelling against their parents by having public sex orgies.

The Best Links:

1. Newsweek Is Just trying to Scandalize a Relatively-Stable Latin American Country
2. Related: Pete Wentz at Nordstrom
3. Chilean Youth Obsessed with Japanese Anime Culture
4. Teen Rebellion Through Public Orgies Are a Far Cry from the Typical Kegger
5. Newsweek Profiles Chile’s Disaffected Youth

Gus Van Sant’s new movie about teenage skateboarders opens this weekend.

The Best Links:

1. NY Times Gives Paranoid Park a Great Review
2. Morally Hollow, But Beautiful All the Same
3. Slant Magazine Gives It 3.5 Stars out of 4
4. Compare and Contrast: Gus Van Sant Movie Posters
5. New Trailer Actually Makes Me Want to See the Movie
6. YouTube - Paranoid Park Official Movie Trailer 2008
7. Get Screenshots and More on IMDB
8. The Best Film of 2008 (Thus Far)
9. Movie Review: Paranoid Park Gets a B Plus

With the popularity of Stephenie Meyers’ Twilight series , teen vampire lit is the new trend in young adult fiction.

The Best Links:

1. I just don’t get the Twilight hoopla
2. In Teen Circles, Stephenie Meyers Is Bigger than Harry Potter
3. List on Amazon.com: “Teen vampire romances”
4. Cast Revealed for Teen Vampire Flick “Twilight”
5. Stephenie Meyer’s Teenage Vampire Series Transcends Most YA Lit
6. Twilight Books Have Too Much Pre-Marital Sex (Wait, That’s a Bad Thing??)
7. New York Observer young adult article
8. Vampires Are the Latest Fad Amongst Teenage Girls
9. Review of “Vampire Kisses” - Not as Good as the Twilight Series

The New York Times writes about a German teen-pop sensation that somehow manages to make My Chemical Romance look less ridiculous.

The Best Links:

1. “My Life As a Teenage Goth”
2. Who is Tokio Hotel? All Your Questions Answered on Wikipedia
3. Official UK Homepage
4. New Tokio Hotel Video Interviews
5. Girls at the Show Claim They’re The “Biggest Band Ever OMG”
6. Not Your Typical Manufactured Boy Band! Well, A, They’re From Germany….
7. “It’s Officially Tokio Hotel Day on Gawker”
8. Tokio Hotel Somehow Makes it to Front Page of NY Times
9. YouTube - Tokio Hotel - “Scream” OFFICIAL Music Video

The Mosquito, a device which emits a high frequency sound that only people under 25 can hear is being marketed as a way to disperse groups on teenagers.

The Best Links:

1. The Mosquito Finally Makes Its Way to NYC
2. Buzz Off! The Anti-Mosquito Movement
3. “Call To Ban Anti-Social Teenager Mosquito Devices”
4. ‘The Mosquito’ Infringes On The Rights Of The Young
5. Ultrasonic Teenage Deterrent
6. Activists Offended by Mosquito Teenage Alarms
7. Mosquito Breach of Human Rights?
8. Mosquito Official Website Compound Security Systems
9. Dude, This is Like So Unfair!
10. High Frequency Teenager Deterrent - Mosquito Device Used To Disperse Teen Groups

One of the most popular profiles on YouTube features videos of a young girl named “magibon” or “MRirian” staring bashfully into a webcam.

The Best Links:

1. Will the real magibon please stand up?
2. This Girl Creeps Me Out
3. Magibon’s Evil Cuteness
4. Is She Faking Us out?
5. Girls in Japan
6. Unclear if latest YouTube craze has deep sociological meaning
7. Magibarf
8. Magibon is Playing the Lolita Game
9. Magibon’s Blog - With Pics! (It’s in Japanese)
10. Little Girl’s Bed in Background Probably Makes Magibon Extra Creepy/Popular
11. Young Girl plus Big Eyes plus No Words equals Web Traffic for Magibon
12. Japanese Girl With Pigtails = Classic Magibon
13. A Rare Video Where Magibon Actually Talks (Japanese)
14. Magibon Fan Blog is in Japanese But It Does Not Really Matter Because She Rarely Talks
15. Magi Videos
16. Magibon’s Channel
17. MRirian on Encyclopedia Dramatica - She’s a “Pedobait Wapanese Camwhore”
18. Magibon’s MySpace (Why Is It Set to Private???)

Not all teens get famous via sex scandals, early pregnancy or school shootings.

The Best Links:

1. Nathan Smith (15), An Offduty Lifeguard Who Saved 5 Girls In New Zealand
2. Tom Foust (17), Pulled A Granny From Her Car Before A Train Hit It
3. Rachel Rosenfeld (17) Opens a School In Rural Cambodia
4. Isha Jain (16), Winner Of a $100,000 Scholarship
5. Malcolm Mays (17), Teenage Movie Director