All of the hyperbolic superlatives from the recent Apple keynote strung together into a two-minute long video. So maybe Mac people aren't cooler, just overenthusiastic thesaurus abusers.

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The Best Links:

1. YouTube - Apple “It’s Only Rock And Roll” Full Keynote Presentation September 9th, 2009
2. YouTube - Steve Jobs - Opening Remarks at Keynote, September 9, 2009
3. A Study in Superlatives via waffle.wootest.net

CELEBRITY BUZZ: So there was just cause for all those Steve Jobs sickness/death rumors that were flying around the interwebs a few months ago. Turns out, the Apple CEO did need a new liver and recently got one. Could this also be a promo for a new product? Need a liver transplant? There's an app for that .

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The Best Links:

1. Jobs Had Liver Transplant
2. “There’s room for skepticism, however: Apple has remained quiet on the issue for months, insisting that Job’s health is his own concern. And yet such information has a significant effect on Apple’s stock price, creating an incentive to keep the details private: Apple’s investors would likely have become skittish if they’d known about Job’s surgery at the time.”
3. “When he does return, Mr. Jobs may be encouraged by his physicians to initially “work part-time for a month or two,” a person familiar with the thinking at Apple said. That may lead Tim Cook, Apple’s chief operating officer, to take “a more encompassing role,” this person said. The person added that Mr. Cook may be appointed to Apple’s board in the not-too-distant future.”
4. Steve Jobs’ Fake Heart Attack
5. Steve Jobs is Dying (Maybe)

1980 was a confusing time for Apple, as you'll see in this classic magazine ad. Don't bite the forbidden fruit, Adam! Somewhere off set, Eve lies tangled in a sexy web of Steve Jobs' dreams.

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The Best Links:

1. Old Apple Ad Captures the Swinging Lifestyle of the 70’s

Plush Jobs may be very smart, but he's also super cuddly. For only $27.99, you can have your very own Plush Jobs — who will definitely tell you all the secrets about the next iPod.

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The Best Links:

1. Buy One at PodBrix!

TECH BUZZ: The Apple CEO is stepping down from his post until June, “to take [himself] out of the limelight and focus on [his] health.” Translation: Steve is really sick, and Apple's stock is going to crash. Sad news for Apple fans (and Steve).

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The Best Links:

1. Jobs’ email to Apple
2. Apple COO Tim Cook will take over until Jobs returns
3. Steve Jobs Is Dying (Maybe) - Featured on BuzzFeed
4. Steve Jobs Hormone Imbalance - Featured on BuzzFeed

Webcomic xkcd reveals the real down side for Apple of Steve Jobs not appearing at MacWorld.

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Those fun-loving pranksters over at 4Chan have been busy today. In addition to (allegedly) getting a crude visual reminder of 9/11 to rise to the top of Google Trends, they managed to take over the live feed for the MacRumors live-blog coverage of today's Macworld keynote address. After announcing that Steve Jobs had died, they moved on with lightning speed to an endless string of penis jokes (which may have undermined their credibility somewhat).

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The Best Links:

1. When Livestreams Go Wrong: MacRumors Gets Hijacked
2. Today, We Are All MacRumors
3. MacRumors’ Unprotected Admin Interface
4. Hackers Hit MacRumors Keynote Coverage
5. More From the Hacked Feed

TECH BUZZ: The Apple CEO is not dying! Instead, he is suffering from a hormone imbalance that is “robbing [him] of the proteins [his] body needs to be healthy.” The disease is treatable, and he'll stay on as Apple CEO. Steve decided to disclose this information to quell the rampant death rumors and succession speculation that his weight loss inspired. So in review: Steve Jobs isn't dying, he's just pregnant.

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The Best Links:

1. Jobs’ letter
2. Jobs intends to continue as Apple’s CEO
3. Apple shares rose on the disclosure.
4. The imbalance is treatable!
5. Steve Jobs Is Dying (Maybe) - Featured on BuzzFeed

BUSINESS BUZZ: Another round of Steve Jobs Deathwatch rumors are flying after his Macworld keynote cancellation. Apple shares fell 2 percent today on the report. Similar rumors circulated after Jobs' gaunt appearance during the 3G iPhone launch , so as always, take everything with a grain of salt. He beat pancreatic cancer 4 years ago but kept it a secret until it was clear he was recovering. Apple fans, investors, and industry watchers are hoping that won't be repeated. Get well soon, Steve!

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The Best Links:

1. Jobs skipping final Macworld keynote
2. Apple shares fall on negative Apple report
3. Steve Jobs Health Declining Rapidly
4. Jobs is “Widely Considered Nearly Irreplaceable”
5. He Makes His Own Rules About Cancer
6. Who’s Next?
7. Weight Loss is a Side-Effect of the Surgery That Saved His Life
8. But He’s Always Been Skinny
9. He Faught Through His Present “Bug” to Attend the WWDC
10. Apple Admits He’s Feeling “a Little Under the Weather”
11. A Blogger Gets an Official Response From Apple
12. Fake Steve is Throwing in the Towel Because He Thinks Real Steve May Kick the Bucket
13. His Email to Employees About His Cancer
14. A Q&A on His Cured Cancer

Link: http://gizmodo.com/5116396/apple-cyoa...

Future, Cupertino — After a long and fruitful tenure as CEO, Steve Jobs steps down in early 2009 to fanfare and industry fawning. Apple needs a new leader. It’s time to choose your own adventure. Gizmodo imagines the future of Apple and it's up to you to choose the company's path. I don't know about this 'Choose Your Own Adventure' book, but I always ended up dying.

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The Best Links:

1. Undress Steve Jobs
2. Steve Jobs Not Dead [PIC]
3. The History of Apple in 3 Minutes [VIDEO]

This is either a fascinating look at the evolution of Apple over the years or definitive proof that you can put pretty much any succession of images together with a good song and it'll be watchable. The answer may depend on how much you like Apple and/or Fiona Apple. Either way, tons of people are watching it today.

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Link: http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/...

I think my favorite thing about Steve Jobs' chest is the mouse pointer tat on his right peck. You may also find dressing him up is good times. That or the fact that he wears tiger-print briefs under his leopard-print ones.

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“I can't afford any of your products, but…can I buy some fake white earbuds so people will think I have a MiPod?” Mapple founder Steve Mobs even makes an appearance!

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Jobs addressed his health rumors briefly at the Apple laptop unveiling today. So, that’s pretty good, right?

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Link: http://www.engadget.com/2008/10/09/ap...

Apple announced their October 14th media event yesterday, where it’s rumored that they’ll unveil the new round of MacBooks and MacBook Pros. Like Superman, the new MacBooks are said to be made of steel - carved from metal using lasers and water jets. Ooooh Steve Jobs, you are certainly getting freaky in your old age.

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The Best Links:

1. Apple “notebook” event is on, October 14th!
2. MacBook in Oct. 14 event ad is 13.3”, aluminum, and not the MacBook Air
3. Apple Invites Media to ‘Notebook’ Event October 14th
4. Photo of Rumored MacBook Pro Casing Said to Be Accurate

Steve Jobs isn’t dead. He swears. At today’s Apple event, Jobs made a point about his death rumors. Fiiiine . We’ll stop talking about it .

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TECH BUZZ: The new Nano features a voice recorder, neat colors. It’s also super thin and has an accelerometer — meaning you can watch videos in widescreen mode and shake to shuffle your playlist — but most importantly it looks like delicious candy.

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The Best Links:

1. IPod Nano is Skinny Again
2. IPod Nano Reaches 4G

TECH BUZZ: Bloomberg News accidentally published Steve Jobs’ 17-page obituary while updating the story. Rumor has it that Jobs, a buddhist vegetarian cancer survivor, isn’t doing so well . This sinister leak can’t be good for his spirits.

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The Best Links:

1. The Story & The Obituary
2. Steve Jobs Dying (Maybe)