POLITICS BUZZ: Nick Xenophon is an Australian senator who has just called for a criminal investigation into Scientology in his country. He calls it “an abusive, manipulative, violent and criminal organization.” Obviously, the fact that the guy's name is Nick Xenophon makes this way more awesome. Xenophon Vs. The Church of Scientology has to be the coolest name for a lawsuit ever.

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The Best Links:

1. Xenophon v. Xenu: The Galactic Battle for Australia’s Soul
2. Senator calls for police inquiry into Scientology (Video)
3. Senator Nick Xenophon says Scientology is ‘a criminal organisation’
4. Church of Scientology response to Nick Xenophon
5. Senator Nick Xeneophon brands Scientology a ‘crimina organisationl’

CELEBRITY BUZZ: After 35 years as a Scientologist, writer/director Paul Haggis ( Crash , the new Bond movies) has written a long, vehement letter to the church outlining why their stance on gay marriage has forced him to resign his membership. Coming on the heels of the unflattering performance of Church spokesman Tommy Davis during an interview with Nightline this weekend, it's going to be a long Monday for the PR folks at L. Ron Hubbard HQ.

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The Best Links:

1. Scientology Spokesman Storms Out During Interview
2. Paul Haggis Resigns from Church of Scientology

Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich… Things are only getting weirder here.

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The Best Links:

1. “wat” - Flickr

CELEBRITY BUZZ: The Mad Men star is engaged to SNL's Fred Armisen. Most of us just learned they were dating, so it seems a little sudden (and weird when you factor in that Moss is a SciTi). “Lizzie,” as Fred calls her, is also currently starring in the infamous mercury-ridden production of Mamet's Speed the Plow .

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The Best Links:

1. Elisabeth Moss’s Wikipedia page
2. Lizzie and Fred are engaged!
3. Elisabeth Moss on IMDB
4. Meet Peggy Olsen
5. In which we learn that Fred Armisen and Elisabeth Moss are dating.
6. Moss also played Zoey Barlet on ‘West Wing’

Come, hear the song of Agent Pubit, the Anonymous agent who stormed Scientology's NYC headquarters greased up in Vaseline, his friends' pubes and nail clippings. He was charged with a hate crime for desecrating the Church of Scientology. Reeeally? Not for desecrating himself?

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The Best Links:

1. When Hairy Met Scientology
2. Greasy Vandal in Hate Crime Vs. Scientology
3. The Ballad of Agent Pubit (With Lyrics)
4. Anonymous Member Arrested For “Pubic Hair Raid” On Church Of Scientology
5. An Unusual Crime (Video)

Link: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/thedi...

In the continuing tragic, foggy saga surrounding the death of John Travolta's son, a hearse was driven between the funeral home and the airport, yet Jett's body was being cremated elsewhere at the time. Gawker, the Internet's penultimate Scientology h8ers - is following the developments closely, calling bullsh*t as events unfold. So sad.

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The Best Links:

1. Lies: John Travolta, Grieving and Deceiving

CELEBRITY BUZZ: A former Hollywood Madame tells Ian Halperin that Smith “has swung both ways for years” and hired two male prostitutes off of her. Thinking back to the on-screen chemistry between Will and Carlton, I can’t say I’m surprised.

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The Best Links:

1. Will Smith Gay Rumors Get Even Louder
2. “Oh how I hope this isn’t true.”
3. Gawker Has Trouble Coming to Terms with Will Smith Gay Rumors
4. The Hollywood Madame Tells of How Will Smith Placed His Order
5. Who’s the Ass Rapist? - Featured on BuzzFeed

In an attempt to counter protesters attempting to smear their “religion,” Scientologists planted fans to support Katie Holmes outside the theater in which she’s performing on Broadway. How did poor Katie get stuck in such a ridiculous mess? Oh, right, by allegedly being hired as Tom Cruise’s “suitable wife.”

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The Best Links:

1. Katie Holmes’ Secret YouTube Confessions - Featured Video on BuzzFeed

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Will Smith is starting a new private school called New Village Academy, which he insists is NOT a Scientology facility. The Children of Scientology are so much scarier than teen goths!

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The Best Links:

1. New Private School Sounds a Lot Like a Scientology Training Camp
2. Will Smith Denies Students Will Be Taught Scientology Lessons
3. It’s a Private School - They Can Do What They Want
4. Lesson One: Africa Needs More Goats
5. Top Ten Ways to Really Know If Your Child’s School Is Scientologist
6. Will Smith Opens Scientology School, Despite Being a Non-Scientologist
7. Dear Will, Stop Insulting Your Fan’s and the Media’s Intelligence!
8. Don’t See What the Big Deal Is about Scientology
9. L Rob Hubbard’s “Study Technology” Will Be Taught
10. The School Offers Classes On Yoga, Robotics and Etiquette
11. Los Angeles Times Has a Photo of the School
12. “The actor must prove there is no Scientology link to his pet project”

CELEBRITY BUZZ: The leaked Tom Cruise video has spawned a cottage industry of imitators. Some are brilliant, some are bizarre, some prove that it takes more than donning a black turtleneck and laughing maniacally to be funny, and one proves that self-parody is the best kind of parody.

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The Best Links:

1. Eugene Mirman is the Best Scientologist Ever!!
2. Craig Ferguson Looks Sexy in a Wig, Don’t You Think?
3. Tom Cruise in “Magnolia” - Seduce & Destory (NSFW)
4. Jerry O’Connell Makes Us Laugh Inside
5. Bringing a New Meaning to “Getting Clear”
6. Tom Cruise Impersonated By Superman
7. Scrapbooking Parody, Which Somehow Gets at the Underlying Ridiculousness Perfectly
8. Tom Cruise Unraveling - A Really Disturbing “Interpretation”
9. Mickey Kaus Keeps Doing That Cruise-ian Thing With His Hands
10. LOLTomKat
11. We’re Pretty Sure We Went To High School With This Guy
12. Tom Cruise With Some Sort Of Speech Disorder
13. Tom Cruise Parody Filmed After Taking Large Doses of Peyote
14. Outtakes From the Scientology Video
15. Proving That Parody Is Hard
16. Tom Cruise As a Foul-Mouthed Frat Boy
17. A Parody Of Jib-Jab Doing a Parody of Tom Cruise

CULTURE BUZZ: A group of online hackers openly threatens Scientology. Forces have aligned to unite anonymous hackers and the media (helped along by Nick Denton’s balls ) in a huge PR blitz against the Church of Scientology in the last week, including protests and DDoS attacks on the Scientology web site, with more fun to come.

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The Best Links:

1. We Are Anonymous: Message to Scientology
2. Anonymous Hackers Take On the Church of Scientology
3. Hackers Hit Scientology With Online Attack
4. Be Very Wary of the 10th of February
5. Anthrax: It’s More Serious Than DDoS Attacks
6. Mark Bunker of XENU TV Warns Anonymous to go the Legal Route (At Length!)
7. Anonymous Hackers Shoot For Scientologists, Hit Dutch School Kids
8. Anonyomous Addresses Scientology Members Directly
9. Handing Out Flyers in Front of the Church of Scientology in Toronto
10. Why Kids On The Internet Are Scientology’s Most Powerful Enemy
11. The Un-Funny TRUTH about Scientology
12. Indoctrination Video (Featuring John Travolta!) Compares Shunning Scientology to Jumping Off a Bridge
13. A Quick Summary of Some Basic Scientology Beliefs, Courtesy of “South Park”

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Months later, the conspiracy theories calling Katie Holmes’ New York City marathon run into doubt are picking up steam. She maintains she really ran 26.2 miles in five and a half hours, but her mystery split times and lack of jogging bra have the doubters coming out in force.

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The Best Links:

1. Hmm, An Us Weekly Blog Post About Her Potential Boston Run Was Yanked!
2. Who Is Mystery Man Paul Vincent?
3. The Unidentified Runner #6074
4. Katie Holmes Marathon Photos On Flickr
5. She Faked The 5:29 Time?
6. I Don’t Buy The Conspiracy - She Definitely Ran!
7. Fake! Fake! Fake! Fake!

CELEBRITY BUZZ: After wrapping a new movie recently, Smith handed out vouchers for a “free personality test” at the local Scientology Center. He was reportedly converted to the cult-like religion by buddy Tom Cruise, and the two now plan on spending more time together doing normal things that Scientologists do, like fearing the wrath of a dangerously low Thetan level and not making out with other dudes.

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The Best Links:

1. Will Smith Boosting Scientology
2. Will Smith: Scientology Is Practically Buddhism
3. Will Smith Gives Out Scientology Voucher Cards
4. Big Willie “Not a Scientologist,” But Opens School That Using Teachings of L. Ron Hubbard
5. The Religions Of Famous People
6. Will Smith is a $cientologist
7. What Would It Look Like If Closeted Scientologist Will Smith Met a Thetan?
8. Will Smith Recruits for Scientology, is Also Freaking Cheap
9. Converted?