…because there aren't enough emergencies.

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Lady bears are losing their hair and developing rashes at a German zoo, and it's sad. On the bright side, they kind of look like four-legged, big-eared Gene Simmonses. So that could be a good thing?

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The Best Links:

1. via SARAHSPY

To even the aging score , let us today explore the saddest of male aging phenomenons: the face puff. (This post was pretty tough for me personally—I had to spend a good 30 minutes watching Romeo + Juliet clips just to get through it.)

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The Best Links:

1. The Official Lindsay Lohan Aging Timeline - Featured on BuzzFeed
2. An appropriate soundtrack.

Choices, friend. Next time, remember to ask yourself: What would John Deere do? The video is well worth watching.

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The Best Links:

1. Via Jeff Cagle

Gawker has a great gallery of the mopey faces of Chicagoans after they found out they were not getting the 2016 Olympics. It's like all of Chicago just found out their dog died.

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Holy moly! Some heartless monster in Indiana shot a 13-inch arrow through this cat's head . Somehow, miraculously, Brownie is recovering with high spirits. For our hearts, though, the process will be significantly longer.

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The Best Links:

1. See Video Here!
2. Forked Dog [PIC]

This chart breaks down the percentage of women who believe it is OK for their husbands to hit them, by country. Jordan, Somalia, and Ethiopia top it off with around 80% of women saying it's OK, while women in Serbia, Georgia, and Belize say no way.

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The Best Links:

1. Sad Stats on Women’s Attitudes Towards Domestic Violence Internationally
2. The Percentages Of Women Who Think It’s OK For Their Husbands To Hit Them
3. Women’s Attitudes Towards Domestic Violence - The Raw Data
4. Many Women Believe Men Are Sometimes Justified in Hitting Their Wives

This economie is no fun for poor ol' Timothy Geithner. It just won't fly!

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The Best Links:

1. Good Ol’ Timothy Geithner
2. Poor Timothy Geithner

This morning's mashup comes to you via Bits & Pieces . It poses the question: “What would have happened if Doc had miscalculated when traveling back to the future in the last movie?” The answer is kind of devastating.

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Saddest Post Secret in a long time. I mean, maybe if it was for the Box of Abu-Kar or something. No, no. It's just wrong.

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The Best Links:

1. Post Secret
2. Even a Nerd’s Pimp Hand Is Strong These Days
3. Top 10 Most Famous Everquest Items
4. Everquest on Wikipedia
5. MMORPG Documentary

Here's a photogallery of ungrateful children who hate Santa. Even if they get over the trauma of being scared by Santa, they'll still have to deal with the harsh reality of not getting any Christmas presents ever again.

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The Best Links:

1. Scared of Santa
2. More Scared of Santa Pics

CELEBRITY BUZZ: First came the heart-wrenching death of Sophie, and now Oprah's fourteen-year-old chocolate cocker spaniel Solomon has ascended to the heavens. Oprah has been sh*t out of luck with her pups lately, proving it is possible to feel bad for people who take money baths.

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The Best Links:

1. A Tribute to Solomon (Grab a Tissue)
2. Even Oprah Can’t Buy Immortal Dogs
3. Yo Momma Knew First
4. RIP Sophie ):
5. Must Love Dogs

CELEBRITY BUZZ: The mother of actress and singer Jennifer Hudson was shot and killed in Chicago. Her brother, Jason, was also found dead. Hudson’s 7-year-old nephew is also missing, and she’s offering a $100,000 reward for his safe return. Update: Police have found a body that may be her nephew, Julian King.

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The Best Links:

1. Body Found May Be Julian King
2. Hudson Family Offers Reward for Nephew Julian King
3. There’s a Suspect in Custody
4. Jennifer Hudson’s Mother, Darnell, Murdered In Chicago
5. Jennifer Hudson’s Mother, Brother Found Dead
6. Jennifer Hudson’s Mother, Darnell Hudson Donerson Dead

It ain’t always easy being the ocean’s top predator. Sharks get sad, too.

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The Best Links:

1. Via The Big Picture

Link: http://sadguysontradingfloors.tumblr....

A photoblog devoted to the unhappy faces of the global economic crisis. See also: sad finance faces .

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CULTURE BUZZ: “If American foreign policy had a gift shop, what would it sell?” From photographer Phillip Toledano, a series of images that might appear in our collective gift shop, from the Dick Cheney Shredding Documents Snow Globe to the Abu Ghraib Coffee Table.

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The Best Links:

1. America the Gift Shop
2. Toledano’s Past Work

POLITICS BUZZ: An inspiring love story ends in divorce. She nursed her injured Marine to health and married him despite the fact that his face was completely disfigured by the blast from a suicide bomber. Now they are getting divorced. Having a national holiday created to honor your love is probably too much pressure for any marriage to bear.

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The Best Links:

1. Inspiring Wedding Ends In Divorce
2. Famous Photo of Bridge And Disfigured Groom
3. Via Kottke

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Heather Locklear is in treatment for depression and severe anxiety. The 46-year-old actress is said to have been suffering from depression since she filed for divorce from rockstar Richie Sambora in 2006. In March, someone called 911 fearing she would commit suicide.

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The Best Links:

1. Heather Locklear Gets Treatment for Depression
2. Heather Locklear Checks Into Treatment
3. 911 Caller Says Locklear May Be Suicidal