A protester walks with a poster from the British embassy in Tehran November 29, 2011. Dozens of young Iranian men entered buildings inside the British embassy compound in Tehran on Tuesday, throwing rocks, petrol bombs and burning documents looted from offices, Iranian news agencies reported.

(Reuters / Stringer )

1. The Email:

   

   Friendsicles, You are either getting this e-mail because I've promised I would tell you this story and haven't yet, you're besties with someone I used to hook up with, or because my need for attention and adulation has reached such an all time high that I decided to pick 15 of you at random to listen to this story (most likely explanation), but all the same, below is the (in)famous but true story of how I met Quentin Tarantino...Adam and Ethan, I'll be expecting your short film script of this in my inbox in the next couple of weeks... Wednesday, June 1st, 2011: Get a BBM at 8 in the morning from my friend Nicki telling me we're going to a party in "the Hills" that night because the Yankees were in town. But this party now presents a conundrum as a) I didn't know people partied on Wednesdays because I'm uncool and b) I had just run out of clean underwear and hadn't shaved my legs in three days, so I wasn't really in a "party" sort of place. (what's that you say? You're surprised I'm single?) However, after being told to grow a pair, I decided to join the girls after work for this fiesta. Party time rolls around that evening and despite being a Wednesday, and based on how many trashy girls in short dresses there are, it looks like the inside of any club in Las Vegas has vomited inside this music producer's home. Minus all the hordes of Asians you get in real Las Vegas. I spend my first hour at this party irritated at having to even be there, and then telling the Yankees picture Joba Chamberlain how he'll never be as great as my beloved Brian Wilson. I think he may have called me a lesbian as I was walking away, but I guess you can't blame him since I did choose to wear pants. Anyways, I digress. Heading back inside, bored out of mind, I look over and notice Jamie Foxx and Quentin Tarantino have joined the melee. Joy. Two more people at this party who could not give a shit about who I am. I go back to texting in the corner while stuffing my face with a hot dog. About an hour later I'm making a drink and realize the pasty tall fellow pouring orange juice into my glass is the man himself, QT. Realizing I kind of have to go for at it this point, in all my nerd glory blurt out: "I'm sure everyone tells you this but I fucking loved Reservoir Dogs. I watched it when I was 11 for my school newspaper, and it's badass." He starts laughing, thanks me, pleasantries are exchanged about how I was clearly a fucked up 11 year old for watching Reservoir Dogs, and we start what appears it might be a delightful little chat about film. Until this happens: Quentin: Wow so you really loved Reservoir Dogs, huh? Which of my other films do you like?
   (this blatant arrogance is the type of douchebaggery that really gets my gourd about Hollywood, so now my film boner has turned to film hate fuck, and I feel the need to cheekily undermine Quentin.)
   Me: Oh wow. You know, I really didn't like Kill Bill...
   Quentin: What? What do you mean? 1 or 2?
   Me: Ehh, a little bit of both. I just didn't care for them.
   Quentin: Wow...I don't think anyone has said that to my face about my seminal films.
   Me: Perhaps it's because you call them your seminal films. Shouldn't you wait for someone else to say that?
   Quentin: You know, you've got a mouth on you. I like that. At this point, QT puts an arm around me and I'm acutely aware that Quentin Tarantino has an arm around me. As are my four friends, who are all looking at me as if I have grown a second head. To be fair, I am easily the most uncool out of all my friends (I go to Q's in Brentwood four nights a week), so the fact that anyone even mildly famous wants to speak to me is pretty shocking. He's chatting with my friends and I like it's no big deal, I am pretending like this happens every night of my life, and out of nowhere he leans in for the makeout. Yes. True story. I am pulling a frat move and making out in a crowded kitchen with Quentin Fucking Tarantino. I cannot stop laughing AS this is happening, mainly because I see my friends Nicki and Jen literally gag behind Quentin's head, and I really am doing this for the story at this point. We make out some more, take a walk, keep making out, get more drinks, lather, rinse, repeat. Believe me when I say I'm not bragging, because..well...have you looked at a photo of Quentin Tarantino recently? (Please refer to: http://bit.ly/jL4ORR) At some point in our public makeout, Jamie Foxx comes over and without acknowledging me goes, "Yo QT, ready to roll?" Quentin looks at me and says "Want to come to my house?" Ummmmmm...fuck yes? We get in an SUV and off we go. As I'm in the car though, I realize two things: 1) Making out with Quentin Tarantino is a great story, but there is no way I plan on putting out, and 2) This is a director who makes up fucked up films for a living, there is a 23% chance he could Phil Spektor me, and I'm definitely not ready to die. But alas, I'm already in the car and we're off. We get to the house, which is gorgeous, and Jamie Foxx takes off with his lady friend (I try to say bye to him and he doesn't even look at me. Jamie Foxx could not have given 2 shits who I was. This is probably karma because I snuck into a screening of Ray in 2004 with my black boyfriend who worked at AMC at the time, instead of buying a ticket). Which leaves me and QT alone in his bar. I spot a photo booth and immediately realize that we must take photos, if for nothing else, proof that this story even happened. (Because I know at least 7 of you right now think I'm still lying, and are pissed you had to read this much. It gets even better, I promise!!) We get a few good photo strips, which I immediately buried at the bottom of my purse lest he take them from me, and go on talking about film. (For you film geeks, this was a great conversation that led to QT cutting me a trailer of my five favorite bad movies, but for sake of some semblance of brevity, I will leave that aside for another day) After a lengthy film discussion, Quentin suggests we head to bed, which is the point where I really start panicking. I have stalled for a good long time but the makeouts were really losing their appeal because you can only be sweated on so much, and we were getting closer to the moment of truth on whether I'd have to put out or not. The makeout continues for a while longer, and I'm really getting nervous about where the night may lead, kicking myself over not pretending to be more drunk and "passing out", and wishing he'd turn the damn lights off so that he won't notice that I'm wearing Hanes Her Way underwear the size of Canada that I bought at CVS that morning because my life is really just that sad and pathetic. We make out some more, there's a little below the belt action that I try to avoid, as QT has the most unattractive penis I have ever seen (short. fat. nub-like. The chode of all chodes. Boys, those junior high pamphlets are lying when they say that all shapes and sizes are normal. Lying.) Just as I'm about to hyperventilate over the fact that he may try to put that horrific bodily implement anywhere near my Britney, he leans over and goes "Hey..." I know this "Hey." This is the "Hey, should I get a condom?" hey that accompanies 20 minutes of ungratifying sex. As I'm trying to rapidly think of ways I can agent myself out of this deal, I hear what is without a doubt, the strangest question in the history of my life. Quentin Tarantino asks, "Can I suck on your toes while I jerk off?" What. The. Fuck. Many of you may have seen this coming, as his foot fetish is WELL documented, but for some of us who spend more time watching Kate Hudson than we do Quentin Tarantino, this was a huge shock. On top of that, I don't even like weird sex habits! A saucy hookup for me is on the foot of the bed, instead of on a pillow. Someone tried to talk me into a threesome once and I cried for an hour. Having someone ask to fellate my feet while rubbing one out was a world I was not prepared for. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and I realized this just might be my get out of jail free card on the whole chode in vag issue. After some negotiations about how I would not partake in any of the hand job action were nailed down, I begrudgingly acquiesced. (And by begrudgingly, I realized I didn't have to shtup the dude and said sure why not in about 0.03 seconds) And thus began the weirdest ten minutes of my life - having my feet made out with by an Oscar winning filmmaker while he pleasured himself. Truth be told, it wasn't so bad. I didn't have to do anything (a nice bonus, since I am undoubtedly the laziest person in bed, which some of you can attest to), no bodily secretions were ejected anywhere near me or my feet (thank god, because I imagine it would feel like walking in sand with wet I fucking hate that), and just as I hoped, we went to bed right after. In the morning, I snooped through Quentin's belongings while he was in the bathroom and now know his e-mail address. He fooled around with my feet one more time (this time without asking, which I found rude), and then drove me back to Nicki's apartment in Weho and that was that. Most insane experience of my life, and without a doubt, probably the best story I will ever get to tell. Those of you who know me well know of my love of hyperbole, so I'm actually rather sad that I won't get to use "best story ever!!!" when talking about how I scored a free topping at Yogurtland anymore, but I suppose for Quentin I can make an exception. I'll try not to forget all of you little people when my feet and I make our meteoric race (foot pun intended) to the top of the A-List soon. Till then, I've attached our photo booth photos for those of you who think I still just have a vivid imagination...and yes, he does look like Frankenstein. Love,
   Beejoli

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Via: deadspin.com

He can occasionally not be a narcissistic nerd!

Read More On filmdrunk.uproxx.com ›

Tarantino is a genius.

1. 

   Jason Levesque

2. 

   Dave Perillo

3. 

   Brandon Schaefer

4. 

   Clint Wilson

5. 

   Joshua Budich

6. 

   Greg Gossel

7. 

   Omar Hauksson

8. 

   Brian Methe

9. 

10. 

    Max Dalton

11. 

    Lloyd Stas

12. 

    Oliver Barrett

13. 

    State of Shock Studios

14. 

1. Quentin Tarantino

   

   Maker of notable films such as "Pulp Fiction," "Kill Bill" and "Death Proof." All three of those films, by the by, feature luxuriating shots of nude female feet. Uma Thurman, frequently barefoot star of "Pulp Fiction" and "Kill Bill," mocked Tarantino's fetish by drinking champagne out of her shoe at a Friar's Club roast of the director. And these photos, taken at an L.A. sushi restaurant in 2007, speak for themselves.

2. 2. Marilyn Manson

   

   The shock rocker has been outed by former girlfriend Jenna Jameson as a foot fetishist. He also dated number 8 on this list.

3. 3. Britney Spears

   

   The pop star rarely wears shoes and has said publicly she enjoys having men kiss her feet.

4. 4. Andy Warhol

   

   The pop artist was a major practitioner of podophilia, evident in his many shoe portraits and the mummified human foot he kept by his bed.

5. 5. Big Boi

   

   One half of hip hop duo Oukast, Big Boi has been quoted as saying, "I like the feet. I love feet. If they've got nice feet, it's a turn-on."

6. 6. Fyodor Dostoyevsky

   

   Dostoevsky's mistress, Polina Suslova, recounted in her memoirs that the famed Russian writer made advances towards her tootsies. His work, from "Crime and Punishment" to "The Brothers Karamazov," also contain numerous instances of men literally throwing themselves at and kissing women's feet.

7. 7. Christian Slater

   

   Said the "Kuffs" star in an interview, "I'm always experimenting in the bedroom and trying to discover new ways to have a good time and enjoy myself. I think toes are a lot of fun, definitely."

8. 8. Dita Von Teese

   

   Burlesque performer who prominently features her feet in her act, has appeared in numerous films and books devoted to foot fancying. She also dated number 2 on this list.

9. 9. Elvis Presley

   

   Elvis had a well documented foot fetish, stemming from having to massage his mother's feet as a child (or "rub her little sooties," as the King chose to say). Presley's handlers would screen women on the basis of their feet before they could have a romantic encounter with the rock icon.

10. 10. Ludacris

    

    Quoth the rapper in an interview, "But I definitely love girls with beautiful feet. I have a foot fetish."

11. 11. Giacomo Casanova

    

    The 18th century Venetian adventurer and author was a lover of many women and their many feet.

12. 12. Redman

    

    In the ode to his own sexual prowess, "Soopaman Lova 3," the hip hop poet pronounces, "I've got these h**s spreaded/From Japanese to diabetics/Toes stay painted because of my foot fetish."

13. 13. Pharrell Williams

    

    Asked in an interview if he had a fetish, the N.E.R.D. frontman responded, "Girls' feet."

14. 14. Brooke Burke

    

    Said the model and Dancing with the Stars personality in an interview, "I like feet. I definitely have a fetish. I love to see a man's bare foot, but it's got to be taken care of."

15. 15. George du Maurier

    

    The 19th century author and illustrator had a thing for hoofs which came through in his work. The titular heroine in his novel "Trilby" was renowned for having "the handsomest foot in all of Paris," and Du Maurier spent a lot of ink describing exactly how handsome it was.

16. 16. Jack Black

    

    The actor has sung the praises of toe sucking in Tenacious D songs and admitted in an interview, "I do have a bit of a foot fetish, yes."

17. 17. Ricky Martin

    

    Opined the Menudo legend in an interview, "It's not good for my image, but I'm what I'd guess you'd call a foot fetishist. I just find feet really beautiful."

18. 18. David Boreanaz

    

    Catalina Guirado, an ex-girlfriend of the "Buffy" and "Bones" star, has said in an interview, "David's idea of heaven is giving a long, sensual toe job. He was keener to get my socks off than my knickers. I was spending more time making sure my toes looked right than my hair and face."

19. 19. Erich von Stroheim

    

    This actor and director was the Quentin Tarantino of the silent era. His 1925 film, "The Merry Widow," features a character with an open and unabashed foot fetish. Von Stroheim spent so much time filming his actress' feet during "The Merry Widow" that a producer accused Von Stroheim of also having a "footage fetish."

20. 20. Tommy Lee

    

    The former Mr. Pamela Anderson has said in an interview, "My mother was Miss Greece in 1957. She's gorgeous and she's got beautiful toes. That's one of the reasons I have a foot fetish today. When I was a kid I'd massage her feet."

21. 21. Alex Rodriguez

    

    Anonymously said a model who claimed to have been with the baseballer, "Alex is a player, a big player who cannot go a night without getting laid. And he's got a big foot fetish."

22. 22. James Joyce

    

    Joyce enjoyed using foot play in his work, including a passage in "Ulysses" in which the character Gerty boasts of using her feet to make men "spend."

23. 23. Todd Phillips

    

    The director of "Old School" and "The Hangover" appears in many of his films as a recurring character by the name of Mr. Creepy. Mr. Creepy first appeared in Phillips' "Road Trip" as a pervy foot fetishist. "I play the guy with the foot fetish in the movie because I am a guy with a foot fetish," said Phillips in an interview for "Road Trip." "Mr Creepy we call him: he's my alter ego."

24. 24. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    

    The German author of "Faust" would sell his soul for a pretty pair of pedis.

25. 25. Ted Bundy

    

    Bundy used stolen credit cards to buy more than 30 pairs of socks to fuel his fetish while evading the law in Florida. Considering he was one of the most prolific serial killers in history, that was probably the most normal thing about him.

26. 26. Enrique Iglesias

    

    Has said point blank to number 28 on this list, "I have a foot fetish."

27. 27. Thomas Hardy

    

    Author of "Far from the Madding Crowd" and "Jude the Obscure," the British novelist had a romantic attitude towards feet.

28. 28. Jay Leno

    

    From clips of him molesting Heather Locklear's feet to a half-joking admission of foot fondness to number 3 on this list, there's enough circumstantial evidence to peg Leno as a fetishist.

29. 29. David Williams

    

    David Williams is a poker and Magic the Gathering player who was found to have starred in a graphic foot fetish porno before becoming a professional card shark.

30. 30. F. Scott Fitzgerald

    

    The author of "The Great Gatsby" was a notorious womanizer and foot fetishizer. He had a near phobia about letting other people see his own feet, but loved obsessing over the feet of women. Fitzgerald frequented a particular prostitute solely (ha) on the basis of her feet.

1. First Film

   

2. Critically Acclaimed Film

   

3. Underrated Film

   

4. Franchise Film

   

   Kill Bill vol 1 & 2 vs Batman Begins/The Dark Knight

5. 'Taking a Break' Film

   

6. Masterpiece

   

The infamous Pulp Fiction breakfast scene gets a makeover, Disney style. Next up, Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny do Brokeback Mountain. ( via )

Tarantino wants Everyone's Favorite Lady to star as an assassin in his next film. The world rejoices.

Read More On nme.com ›

In case you didn't believe the Inglourious Basterds set was a boatload of fun.

1. Once Upon a Time in Nazi Occupied France

   

2. 

3. German Night... in Paris

   

4. Operation Kino

   

5. Revenge of the Giant Face

   

The internet will not stop until everything has been Wes Anderson-ified, but these are still pretty amusing.

The first look at Quentin Tarantino's Nazi-basher movie. Why does Brad Pitt have a Southern accent?

The Best Links:

1. Inglourious Bastards Script - Featured on BuzzFeed

The “kids manipulated in an adult situation” method applied to Tarantino.