Right now, there’s someone out there. SOMEONE HAVING FUN WITHOUT ME.
You used to stink of salami. All. The. Time.
Shaving. Lots of shaving.
Do all women queef?
You’re not invited to the office party.
No no no poker face, no no poker face.
This took me a long time.
String bikinis: the struggle is real.
Sometimes the Force just isn’t with you.
“I promise you that I’m happy on the inside.”
Cursing isn’t ladylike? Eff off.
Children are evil and terrible and there’s no good reason for them to exist.
Silver hands and sadness.
No, I can’t read it either.
Why are you talking so close to my face?
“I bet you’ll look amazing when you’re 40.”
Oh, the polite agony of it all. Adapted from @SoVeryBritish.
U know when U just agree with someone?
I miss winter.
The reach… The fucking reach.
Great quiz right here.
Marry me, hummus.
*Moves to Siberia.*
We all have hair, but some of us are more #blessed than others.
IT’S A REAL THING, OKAY?!
The doctor is ALWAYS in.
Great list right here.
Please stop patting us on the head now.
SPOILER: mostly cow-related.