Is Lark Voorhies, or Lisa Turtle of Saved By The Bell , now the host body for The King of Pop? (Or a geisha?) (Or both?) Say no to Botox, you guys. And, while you're at it, cool it with the mime makeup. Just…no.

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The newest Real Housewife from the New York cast is easily the most despised of the shiny quintuplet, which makes scoffing at her poorly-constructed east-meets-west chest a pretty easy task. Karma works in mysterious ways, like when boobs of the rich, moderately famous, and horrible are made all goopy and gelatinous.

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The Best Links:

1. via B-Side Blog
2. Kelly Bensimon’s Titties Are Trying To Quit Her
3. Kelly Proves That the Devil Was Born Nipple-free
4. Bethenny Impersonates Simon
5. See Kelly Run!

So Rupert Everett of My Best Friend's Wedding fame had some work done. I honestly did not believe that was him until I saw this Martha Stewart clip .

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The Best Links:

1. Dlisted makes the Martha connection.
2. In Happier Times.

Link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/art...

In the spirit of messed up mother/daughter relationships , check out Janet and Jane Cunliffe. Janet underwent £10,000 worth of plastic surgery to look like her daughter, Jane, and the two frequently get mistaken for sisters when they go out clubbing together. My sincerest sympathies go out to Jane's father.

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CULTURE BUZZ: Reverend William Blasingame of St. Paul's Memorial Episcopal in Staten Island, New York, allegedly stole nearly $85,000 from his congregation to spend on plastic surgery and Botox injections, prescription drugs, club memberships, car insurance, and fancy duds (including a $245 pair of shoes imported from London). Although let's not beat around the bush here: dude is sexy as hell .

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The Best Links:

1. Friar Nip Tuck
2. Church Funds for Botox
3. The Crooked Pastor

This breasts sculpture by Chinese artist Shu Yong was paraded around (by a red ox?) as an attempt to encourage women to avoid plastic surgery and embrace their natural curves. From the looks of it, this just might have the opposite effect.

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The Best Links:

1. Pic of the Day: Chinese Ox Pulls Giant Breasts | The First Post

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Did SNL ‘s beloved breakout get plastic surgery? The blogosphere is abuzz, and fans are aghast that such a gifted comedian — who was, needless to say, pretty hot to begin with — would go under the knife like so many Hollywood bimbos. We can’t really tell, especially because she’s smiling wider the side-by-side comparison . But at the end of the day, her nose — real or fake — belongs to a woman well on her way to movie stardom (and the bank), so who are we to judge?

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The Best Links:

1. Kristen’s All Black-Eyed and Swollen: So Maybe She Got Into a Fist Fight! With A…Plastic…Surgeon…::sigh::
2. See the Side-By-Side Comparison, and Then See How Plastic Surgery Turned Melanie Griffiths Into a Monster
3. “Why Would Someone With a Normal and Even Cute Nose Would Go Through Scary, Expensive Surgery?”
4. Top 10 Kristen Wiig Moments - Featured on BuzzFeed
5. Oh Yes She Did, Oh No They Didn’t
6. And Get This: AMY POEHLER’S PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the singer might have looked like now if he hadn’t gone under the knife. On the even of Jackson’s 50th birthday, the Photoshop whizzes at the Daily Mail give us a vision of what could have been. So: oops, right?

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The Best Links:

1. As He Turns 50, is This What Michael Jackson Should Really Look Like?

This composite image is made from the faces of four mega-celebrities - can you guess which four? Click for the image for the answer and to read the New York Magazine article on celebrity plastic surgery.

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The Best Links:

1. The New York Magazine Article on Celebrity Face Trends
2. Previously On BuzzFeed: Madonna Looking Bad

SCIENCE BUZZ: Botox can now be injected into the pectoral muscles to boost saggy boobs. Now you can have perky breasts to match that perky forehead!

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The Best Links:

1. Botox Can Now Be Injected into Breasts for a Lift
2. Ideal for Smaller Breasted Ladies With Stooped Shoulders
3. It’ll Improve your Posture!
4. Botox is the Cure for Sagging Breasts and Sweaty Armpits
5. “Botulism Boobies … DO NOT WANT”

CULTURE BUZZ: A new book that finally explains mommy’s nosejob to the little ones. With the growing popularity of mommy makeovers , we suppose there are a lot of kiddies out there trying to understand why mommy went away to the hurt doctor and couldn’t lift anything for weeks when she got back. Finally a self-published book that will let them deal with their anxieties in a healthy way!

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The Best Links:

1. Aw, Don’t Feel Bad About ‘Mommy Bandages,’ Kids, They’re For Mommy’s New Tummy!
2. Oh, There Are Many Other Kinds of Mommies Out There
3. This is an Alarmist Story, Made Out of Thin Air
4. Worth Noting: This is a Self-Published Book
5. Vote: Good Idea or Terrible Idea?
6. On the Up Side: This Book *is* a Reflection of Our Times
7. Coming Just in Time for Mother’s Day