This is not a weight thing, either—both of those photos are alarming. Marissa, pull that lawnchair back out of the pool, lie down, eat some veggies, and take your life back.

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UK MTV follows Pete Doherty for 24 hours, and things get predictably ugly. Not surprising: Pete Doherty lives in squalor. Surprising: he has a cat.

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The Best Links:

1. The Daily Mail examines the dirt in detail

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Pete Doherty plants one on Amy Winehouse, and the world realizes what a beautiful couple they’d make. At first glance, this seemed too trashy to post, but now it kind of serves the purpose of being diametrically opposed to the Scarlett-Penelope kiss .

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The Best Links:

1. Hot Close-Ups! Open Sores!
2. Pete Doherty visits Amy Winehouse at 4AM
3. Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty Are Releasing a Duet Together
4. Pete Is Finally Free! Kisses Amy Winehouse to Celebrate
5. Lots of Photos
6. Most Perfect Couple Ever, As Long as They Don’t Procreate
7. Blakey’s Coming After Them…After He Gets Released from Prison

MUSIC BUZZ: Pete Doherty is reuniting with his former Libertines bandmate to write a musical for a well-known London theater. Good luck suspending your disbelief: The plot of this yet-to-be-written classic of musical theater will revolve around a young rock band struggling with fame. Maybe it will feature drug use? Stay tuned!

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The Best Links:

1. Stop Trying to Scratch Out Your Own Eyes: Pete Doherty Is Writing a Musical
2. “Five Reasons a Libertines Musical Isn’t a Terrible Idea”
3. But Will It Be Better Than Spamalot?
4. Nothing Like a Healthy Working Relationship!
5. Pete and Carl, Together Again