For a mere $3,500 you can purchase yourself the ultimate pancake machine — ChefStack literally takes all the work (and fun) out of making America's move beloved breakfast food. If it can't do shapes, I can't do robots for pancakes. Sorry, machine.

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The Best Links:

1. Pancakes. Delicious and Fresh - ChefStack

This is the “Flapjack Fiasco,” a stack of pancakes layered with ( among other things ) cookie dough, PB&J, caramel, oreo, sprinkles, chocolate and bananas, and Trix cereal. The Trix is already more nutrients than I get in a day.

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The Best Links:

1. Via the people of This Is Why You’re Fat, who continue to post appetizing images that are supposed to disgust me.

Hungry? D'ya wanna watch Ms. Extreeem crush some pancakes with her big, fat feet? Sure you do! Turn up the speakers so you can get the full experience with the smooshes and creaking floor. Or, add your own soundtrack! I recommend Smash Mouth - All Star .

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The Best Links:

1. Miss Extreeem and Her First Foodcrush Clip

FOOD BUZZ: A math professor has devised an equation to create the perfect pancake. It is: 100 - [10L - 7F + C(k - C) + T(m - T)]/(S - E) , where L represents the lumps in the batter, F represents flipping, C represents the actual consistency, k stands for the ideal consistency, T represents the temperature of the pan, m stands for the ideal temperature of the pan, S stands for the length of time the batter stands before cooking, and E is the length of time the pancake stands before consumption. Right! So if that made sense to you, I will be over in 15 minutes for a delicious pancake lunch.

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The Best Links:

1. The perfect pancake is further explained (though it still doesn’t make sense to me).
2. Other pancakes tips that do not involve math
3. Here is an older article discussing the physics of the perfect pancake toss, if you are better with arcs.
4. Related: the greatest WAFFLE recipe ever.
5. Or you could just use Pancake Puffs.

CULTURE BUZZ: Organizers tired of Talk Like A Pirate Day have taken to celebrating an entirely different cultural icon: the woodsy guy with the big axe and the bigger appetite. If you live in New York, celebrate with free pancakes. If you live elsewhere, throw on some flannel, cut down a tree, and don’t shave for a day (that includes your legs, ladies!).

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The Best Links:

1. Happy Lumberjack Day!
2. Talk Like A Lumberjack Day is 9/26
3. International Talk Like A Pirate Day - Featured on BuzzFeed

FOOD BUZZ: A pan that makes perfectly round pancake puffs that can be filled with anything, from hot dogs to jam. The part during the infomercial where they inject the pancake with beef gravy just made my mouth water. And just think of the amazing brunch you’ll be able to make for your friends with this thing.

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The Best Links:

1. Sound Gross? I WANT ONE!!!
2. The Official Site - Watch the Ad
3. Kids Choose to Watch Infomercial Instead of Quality Television
4. These Would Be Amazing in a Food Fight
5. We Got One as a Wedding Gift - Pancake Puffs RULE!
6. We Love Our Pancake Puffs - See Our Chocolate Eclair Version
7. OMG You Can Also Make PIZZA Puffs!
8. “I finally made them this morning and let me tell you they were TASTY”