The Definitive Ranking Of All 51 Miss USA Contestants’ Evening Gowns
May the finest diamantes win.
May the finest diamantes win.
“Staci Jo’s hidden talent is that she can give a cat an IV line.” Never say the 2013 Miss USA pageant girls aren’t a diverse bunch.
Without photoshop getting in the way, we can see just how similar these young women look without retouching. So, is plastic surgery or just a pervasive culture of conformity to blame?
Miss Montana will make pageant history when she vies for the crown this weekend.
It takes a lot more than blinding sparkles to make a good pageant dress. Here’s a ranking of the Miss Universe evening gowns, from worst to best.
It’s the pageant that puts every other pageant ever to serious shame. Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show WHO?
Step aside, Honey Boo Boo.
At the recent Miss Hong Kong beauty pageant, scandal was everywhere. The voting system? Allegedly hacked. The makeup room? Apparently full of dangerous germs. And the emcee? Possibly involved in illicit romances. Here’s a recap.
It doesn’t look like she’s gotten any better at it, either.
If English-speaking aliens landed on Earth and the first thing they did was park themselves on a couch and watch the Miss USA pageant, they’d think all we valued about those women was their ability to smile and to walk while wearing a dress and heels. But these women can do so, so much more.
How times have changed.
“I’m about to go ghetto on you, giiiirl!” Six-year-old Mountain Dew and Red Bull-addicted beauty queen Alana, daughter of “Coupon Queen” June and nicknamed “Honey Boo-Boo Child” by America after her infamous “Toddlers & Tiaras” episode, was featured on “Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers” today. And boy oh boy was it life-changing!
Praise Alana! Remember soda-addicted six-year-old beauty queen Alana—and her obese mother, June—from “Toddlers & Tiaras”? Those other talk shows must’ve been crazy if they thought they were gonna book her, honey boo-boo child! Because on February 2nd, Alana and her “Coupon Queen” mom will be on “Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers.”
I scoured the internet (mostly tumblr) for this masterpost that collects every possible animated GIF you would need from TLC’s Toddlers & Tiaras
Somewhere, the delusional, overbearing mother of Sparkal Queenz (!) gleefully watches as her Little Miss writhes on the floor, make-up smeared and shoulder straps tangled, much like any other 3’ tall sexpot. Actual kid or trannie midget? Place your bets! (via BWE) Watch Video ›
