Don't be the girl wearing Jessica McClintock. Be this girl, teens of America! (Update: Jack informs me that this was on Regretsy, but I do NOT think it is a regret! So there.)

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The Best Links:

1. Via Unique Daily
2. Tetris Dress - Featured on BuzzFeed

Sorry to ruin your day, but someone shot a sea lion in the face in Sacramento, leaving the poor thing writhing in pain as he keeps his head in the air, struggling to breathe. Congratulations, Stranger Who Shot Sea Lion In The Face. You are officially a monster. [ UPDATE: If you'd rather not watch a sad video, you totally don't have to. -Eliot ]

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This toy bear has been hacked to make and receive calls vie bluetooth. Sorry, this is just too Chucky for me, kill it. [ via ]

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See these dungarees? The ones that say “Rich Man, Poor Man” on the butt pockets? They're $545. If you think that's unnerving, you obviously haven't seen the label's Epcot-goes-gay opener .

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The Best Links:

1. We’d Rather Have Winkers
2. Catch the D’bag Special!

Aspen and Wendy are effete straight dudes (from new and old money, respectively) livin' the life of the young, rich, and atrocious in L.A. Wait for the scene at the club to understand why *some* of us prefer quiet nights at home. Ahem.

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So, anyway, this kid is on a boating trip with his lobster-monster dad, and they're bonding and stuff. But then it all goes wrong. :(

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The Best Links:

1. Via PoeTV

Remember when Kathie Lee Gifford wasn't a boozy, openly-bigoted, undersexed comic genius , and everyone hated her for pretending to be perfect? This “fitness video” is from that era. If saying our prayers means we'll get a romp in the sack with a “Human Love Machine,” we're going to have to stick with the atheism. Thanks anyway, K'Lee! (via Everything Is Terrible , of course)

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It's a Pygmy Jerboa, the world's smallest rodent. It's totally adorable and looks like it came straight out of the Henson Creature Workshop.

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A new unidentifiable monster washed up in Long Island that is similar to the famed Montauk Monster.

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The Best Links:

1. Return of the Montauk Monster
2. Montauk Monster Washes Up Again
3. The Original Montauk Monster on BuzzFeed

A giant fossil sea monster found in the Arctic and known as “Predator X” had a bite four times as strong as that of the T-Rex, according to scientists. The pliosaur would have been about 50 feet long. It is thought to have lived in the Jurassic oceans 147 million years ago.

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The Best Links:

1. Meet little and large: The dinosaur the size of a rabbit and the 50ft ferocious sea monster that ruled the waves
2. Predator X was the most fearsome animal ever to swim the oceans
3. Sea monster makes T-Rex look feeble

This is a drunken monster that will hurt you and your family.

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Did this detail from NASA photograph show a reptile species that did not survive the K-T extinction on Earth? The snapshot of the Martian surface were taken by NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Spirit, 4/01/09.

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Watch what happens when you put cornstarch mixed with water on a speaker. It creates monsters! Although, towards the end the monsters start to look like old men in a hot tub, soaking and talking about the neighbors. Then one dude's head pops off and they all deflate. It's tough, growing old.

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The Best Links:

1. Alien Life On A Speaker
2. Cornstarch Monster on a Speaker

That's not so much a picture of a homeless ghost as it is of a model at a Number Nine fashion show in the UK. Throw your skinny jeans out the window. This spring, it's all about looking f*cking terrifying .

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The Best Links:

1. Number Nine

She lives in a Chicago apartment with plants and her cat Frieda, but all she wants is to be an animal and eat tacos. Is that really so much to ask? If her heavy breathing doesn't put a pit in your stomach, then congratulations: you're officially fearless.

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The Best Links:

1. via Gay Men’s Social Crisis

SCIENCE BUZZ: A Chicago cat with four ears goes by the name Yoda. The extremely rare cat, who was adopted from a bar, appears to be very happy and healthy. He’s really the apex of the whole slightly sinister yet totally adorable look.

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The Best Links:

1. “Our Newest Monster Is a Four-Earred Kitty Cat”
2. Yoda Look-Alike Cats
3. Meet Yoda the cat with FOUR ears
4. Yoda the Cat Astounds With Four Ears
5. “Cat ‘ear-marked’”

Two Bigfoot hunters say they the have the body of a dead Bigfoot. They are planning on releasing DNA evidence in a news conference on Friday. It’s a good thing they have DNA evidence! Because this photo looks like a discarded gorilla suit stuffed in a freezer chest.

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The Best Links:

1. Why We Have No Faith They Actually Found Bigfoot
2. “Nerds Find Bigfoot… Or Something”
3. Has Bigfoot Been Found? Read the Press Release
4. Site that First Posted the Photo

Compelling evidence that the Montauk Monster is, in fact, some type of (formerly) cute dog. An email from alert reader Marcus Hyde: “From the new photo supplied, it’s easy to see that it is a dog. Likely some breed of boxer or bulldog. There are remnants of fur still on the body. And the nose area is not a ‘beak’ but simply part of the skull left exposed from being nibbled off by fish or a dashing against a rock or just plain decomposition. I did a little rough photoshopping of my own to illustrate that the image is likely real, but it’s not great mystery after all. It’s a dog. Poor thing. It really doesn’t take some scientific expert to see this.”

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The Best Links:

1. Dead Monster Washes Ashore - Featured Image on BuzzFeed
2. New Photo of the Montauk Monster - Featured Image on BuzzFeed

There's a new photo of this creepy thing from Newsday, plus a video . Only one of many reasons to not go to the Hamptons this weekend.

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The Best Links:

1. Update: Montauk Monster Returns!
2. Plum Video Has a Video
3. The Mystery Deepens!
4. The New Photon on Newsday

Arizona boy catches alligator gar, a primitive fish, in local pond. This thing is very, very real, and if you’re at all frightened, keep in mind that this one is just a little guy. A fully mature alligator gar can be as long as 12 ft. and weigh upwards of 300 lbs.

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The Best Links:

1. Watch News Story
2. Article and More Horrifying Pics
3. Wikipedia - Alligator gar
4. Full Grown Alligator Gars