Don't be the girl wearing Jessica McClintock. Be this girl, teens of America! (Update: Jack informs me that this was on Regretsy, but I do NOT think it is a regret! So there.)
Culture Buzz Sorry to ruin your day, but someone shot a sea lion in the face in Sacramento, leaving the poor thing writhing in pain as he keeps his head in the air, struggling to breathe. Congratulations, Stranger Who Shot Sea Lion In The Face. You are officially a monster. [UPDATE: If you'd rather not watch a sad video, you totally don't have to. -Eliot]
Celebrity Buzz ONN investigates the tragic death of an innocent young girl who died way earlier than Fox News's popular “Mormon f*ckface.” Meanwhile, in real life, Beck knows he's pretty much on the brink of being assassinated.
This toy bear has been hacked to make and receive calls vie bluetooth. Sorry, this is just too Chucky for me, kill it. [ via ]
See these dungarees? The ones that say “Rich Man, Poor Man” on the butt pockets? They're $545. If you think that's unnerving, you obviously haven't seen the label's Epcot-goes-gay opener.
Culture Buzz Aspen and Wendy are effete straight dudes (from new and old money, respectively) livin' the life of the young, rich, and atrocious in L.A. Wait for the scene at the club to understand why *some* of us prefer quiet nights at home. Ahem.
So, anyway, this kid is on a boating trip with his lobster-monster dad, and they're bonding and stuff. But then it all goes wrong. :(
This is some insanely frightening video of living, breathing poop monsters found in North Carolina sewage systems. Should we run? Should we flush? Awaiting further instructions, government…
Remember when Kathie Lee Gifford wasn't a boozy, openly-bigoted, undersexed comic genius, and everyone hated her for pretending to be perfect? This “fitness video” is from that era. If saying our prayers means we'll get a romp in the sack with a “Human Love Machine,” we're going to have to stick with the atheism. Thanks anyway, K'Lee! (via Everything Is Terrible, of course)
It's a Pygmy Jerboa, the world's smallest rodent. It's totally adorable and looks like it came straight out of the Henson Creature Workshop.
A new unidentifiable monster washed up in Long Island that is similar to the famed Montauk Monster.
A giant fossil sea monster found in the Arctic and known as “Predator X” had a bite four times as strong as that of the T-Rex, according to scientists. The pliosaur would have been about 50 feet long. It is thought to have lived in the Jurassic oceans 147 million years ago.
Did this detail from NASA photograph show a reptile species that did not survive the K-T extinction on Earth? The snapshot of the Martian surface were taken by NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Spirit, 4/01/09.
Watch what happens when you put cornstarch mixed with water on a speaker. It creates monsters! Although, towards the end the monsters start to look like old men in a hot tub, soaking and talking about the neighbors. Then one dude's head pops off and they all deflate. It's tough, growing old.
That's not so much a picture of a homeless ghost as it is of a model at a Number Nine fashion show in the UK. Throw your skinny jeans out the window. This spring, it's all about looking f*cking terrifying.
She lives in a Chicago apartment with plants and her cat Frieda, but all she wants is to be an animal and eat tacos. Is that really so much to ask? If her heavy breathing doesn't put a pit in your stomach, then congratulations: you're officially fearless.
Science Buzz A Chicago cat with four ears goes by the name Yoda. The extremely rare cat, who was adopted from a bar, appears to be very happy and healthy. He’s really the apex of the whole slightly sinister yet totally adorable look.
Two Bigfoot hunters say they the have the body of a dead Bigfoot. They are planning on releasing DNA evidence in a news conference on Friday. It’s a good thing they have DNA evidence! Because this photo looks like a discarded gorilla suit stuffed in a freezer chest.
Compelling evidence that the Montauk Monster is, in fact, some type of (formerly) cute dog. An email from alert reader Marcus Hyde: “From the new photo supplied, it’s easy to see that it is a dog. Likely some breed of boxer or bulldog. There are remnants of fur still on the body. And the nose area is not a ‘beak’ but simply part of the skull left exposed from being nibbled off by fish or a dashing against a rock or just plain decomposition. I did a little rough photoshopping of my own to illustrate that the image is likely real, but it’s not great mystery after all. It’s a dog. Poor thing. It really doesn’t take some scientific expert to see this.”