Forty plants went missing after a stint of robberies at a plant store in Texas, and the guilty duo caught on camera featured a dude and his monkey. A monkey thief. The business owner asked police not to pursue investigation because she found the incident “humorous.” And LOL Award of the Year goes to…that lady!

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These pics from the World Wildlife Fund capture the moment when a mother orangutan catches a rope thrown to her by humans in order to bring her baby to safety. Click through for the full story.

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“Sex Kittens Go to College” is a forgotten but clearly awesome classic film that also co-stars Elektro, “the world's first celebrity robot.” After his appearance in the 1939 World's Fair, Elektro had fallen out of the public eye, so he tried to revive his career by appearing in a movie about, well, sex kittens who go to college. Apparently there is a scene where the robot and a monkey watch some of the sex kittens strip. Genius!

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The Best Links:

1. The return of Elektro, the first celebrity robot
2. The original sex machine

Just in case you're not clear on the pecking order, here's a handy chart that's been doing the rounds today. It's like paper rock scissors, except with more senseless violence. ( Via ).

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The Best Links:

1. Here’s Where It Originated

Three monkeys in China fight back after being abused by their trainer. The man was apparently beaten senseless, which is gruesome except that he asked for it. Anyway, don't mess with monkeys.

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OMG a wheelbarrow full of baby orangutans! And they are orphans. Click the image for the whole sad story.

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In the tradition of Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians , this new website recognizes folks who look like our furry brothers in evolution. Sure, this photo of cricket player Andrew Symonds suspiciously brings to mind blackface, but on a site that compares the same dude to Bindi Irwin , it seems like anyone and everyone a target.

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The Best Links:

1. via Thrillist
2. Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians - Featured on BuzzFeed

CULTURE BUZZ: A monkey raised hell in one of Tokyo’s busiest subway stations on Wednesday. It took 30+ police officers to get him out. The crazy thing is that this is the third time a monkey has stirred up trouble in Tokyo this month! Tokyo in general is a pretty unique place, but there’s nothing more exotic than an infestation of monkeys.

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The Best Links:

1. Monkey triggers Tokyo subway chaos - CNN.com
2. YouTube - Monkey runs Wild in Subway~

CULTURE BUZZ: People adopt monkeys and treat them like children. This is only slightly more tolerable than people who treat their chihuahuas like human beings.

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The Best Links:

1. Families Adopt Monkeys as Surrogate Children
2. Monkeys And People Who Think Monkeys Are People
3. Would a Monkid Fit in at a Suburban High School?
4. I Feel Sorry For These “Parents”
5. Monkids and the Insane Parents Who Love Them

Oh so cute!!!! It’s a white-naped mangabey monkey, recently born at the London Zoo. After complications during the birth, it’s being raised by a zookeeper and a teddy bear.

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The Best Links:

1. More Cuteness Can Be Found Here

A monkey/robot hybrid! The end times are here. Two lab monkeys with brain implants have successfully learned to control robotic arms with only their minds (one shudders to think how their arms were originally lost).

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The Best Links:

1. Damn Dirty Apes Get Robot Limbs Before Us
2. “They were licking the marshmallow off the prosthetic gripper, pushing food into their mouth, as if it were their own hand.”
3. Brain-Controlled Robo-Arm Hope

Clip from a Japanese TV show features a monkey bartender. As the human race de-evolves, monkeys will one day inherit the earth.

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CULTURE BUZZ: These photos of fat monkeys with saggy boobs were just too good to not share with the world. Plus, it’s a really slow day. Hot monkeys with D-cups are sure to satisfy all of your animal porn fantasies.

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The Best Links:

1. Monkeys With Man Boobs Look Like Jack Nicholson Without a Shirt On
2. These Are the Giantest Monkey Nipples We’ve Ever Seen
3. Awww…Obese Monkeys Have Saggy Boobs
4. Orangutan with Boobs and Buddha Belly