In the name of sex education, this gal publicly professes her virginity after attesting to achieving “sexual satisfaction without taking [her] clothes off.” …Which is true if dry humping still does the trick after menopause hits. (via Urlesque )

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This lady has her child's future on her mind, but seems kind of distracted.

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After slipping into the water, this two day-old sea lion gets her first swim lesson from mom. And we are happy to report that she does swimmingly!

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The Best Links:

1. Swim Lessons at the Pittsburgh Zoo
2. A sea lion pup at the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium takes swimming lessons with her mother, Zoe. First, the pup drops into the pool and her mother guides her back to the beach. Then the pup dives in unexpectedly and mother Zoe swims along side her. It’s all part of Zoe teaching her pup to swim.

Not even nine months old, Jenny the Pug puppy is already feeling those maternal urges as she pushes her stuffed animals (yes, two Pug dolls !) around Portland, Oregon. Is it okay that the parasol is our favorite part? Because that's our favorite part. (via Zoomdoggle )

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TECH BUZZ: Writer David Rees provides NY Mag's Vulture with a downloadable PDF file in which he meditates (hilariously, although somewhat informatively) on And Then There's This , a new book by Bill Wasik that looks at the power of viral culture. While the presentation is, in fact, somewhat “insider-y,” we're big fans of his shoutout to Mom Forwards with the historic gem, “Don’t use your cell phone at the gas station, it’ll make the pump explode!”

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The Best Links:

1. David Rees Reads “And Then There’s This”
2. Buy “And Then There’s This”

One insurance company has decided to bring the Bahamas to the Dirty Jerz. Viral campaign or not, one thing we're always happy to see is middle-aged women pairing floppy hats and sunglasses with dangly jewelry and Chico's blazers.

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Now moms are on the net, too, and it looks like they're really making the most of it. Shit gets surreal around a minute in when some weird dude with hair shows up carrying roses. (Via the always wonderful Everything Is Terrible .)

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The Best Links:

1. More from Everything Is Terrible

CULTURE BUZZ: There is so much wrong with this video, it's not even funny. But, then again, it is. Because this 60-year-old mother describes to her daughter - in graphic detail - her sexual fantasies before explaining the glory of buttsex, the importance of masturbation, and the importance “handling your business.” (And somehow it gets worse. Way worse.) But the real question is: WHO IS SUBMITTING THESE QUESTIONS? More importantly, why are they doing this to us? (And why are we watching?!)

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The Best Links:

1. via Ilana Glazer [Ed. Note: My sister]
2. VIDEO OF THE DAY (nay, YEAR!)

TECH BUZZ: CNN is reporting that your mom just joined Facebook. Women older than 55 are the fastest-growing group on the site, with 1.5 million currently on the site - a 550 percent increase in the past 6 months.

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The Best Links:

1. All in the Facebook family: older generations join social networks
2. Fastest Growing Demographic on Facebook: Women Over 55
3. Add BuzzFeed on Facebook

The Peekaru Original is like a Snuggie for moms and babies, or dads and babies I guess. Only it's creepy in a different way and four times more expensive.

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Link: http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/knocke...

A mom swears that her kid's jigsaw puzzle is haunted. And this is why I am A-OK with being “the fun uncle” for a few more years.

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CULTURE BUZZ: I don’t know how else to put this, other than, “A cannibal cult mother who tortured her son in a locked cellar while relatives skinned him and forced him to eat his own flesh has been jailed for nine years.” Holy skin-eating cannibals, and you thought your mom was rough?

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The Best Links:

1. Cannibal cult mother who skinned son and made him eat his own flesh gets 9 years in jail
2. The Grail Movement on Wikipedia
3. Cannibal Mother Admits Crimes in Court

TV BUZZ: Forgetting anything they learned (or didn’t learn) about NBC’s quarterlife , ABC has given the green light to airing thirteen episodes of web series In The Motherhood , starring Leah Remini, Chelsea Handler, and Jenny McCarthy. Despite the product placement being just a tad heavy-handed, In The Motherhood seems like a funny, freshly irreverent take on motherhood. And at one point, the moms stand around eating a bowl of chips and salsa, which is something that mothers … apparently do now?

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The Best Links:

1. ABC Picks Up “In The Motherhood,” But Not Yet With The Mothers
2. In the Motherhood - The Series
3. “Quarterlife” Came and Went (But Could Potentially Resurface On Bravo)
4. Moms LOVE Tostitos

STYLE BUZZ: Tired of hiding your Mom-bangs underneath a silly baseball cap? Now you don’t have to, thanks to this revolutionary product that lets you wear a hat and show everyone your hair! AT THE SAME TIME! You can also make it into a visor for those days when you want to instantly age yourself by 20 years.

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The Best Links:

1. “Go Hatless!”
2. “These Hats Are Totally Gonna Be the New Paisley”
3. “Umm…no.”