Remember those infomercials for Curves, the “natural” way for a woman to enhance her “stick of gum” figure? Maybe the volleyball scene will jog your memoryboner.
When the internet first started to become popular, your parents could have used this informational video, unearthed (unsurprisingly) by Everything Is Terrible. First rule of internet: e-mails don't cost money. Godspeed.
In the name of sex education, this gal publicly professes her virginity after attesting to achieving “sexual satisfaction without taking [her] clothes off.” …Which is true if dry humping still does the trick after menopause hits. (via Urlesque)
After slipping into the water, this two day-old sea lion gets her first swim lesson from mom. And we are happy to report that she does swimmingly!
Not even nine months old, Jenny the Pug puppy is already feeling those maternal urges as she pushes her stuffed animals (yes, two Pug dolls!) around Portland, Oregon. Is it okay that the parasol is our favorite part? Because that's our favorite part. (via Zoomdoggle)
Tech Buzz Writer David Rees provides NY Mag's Vulture with a downloadable PDF file in which he meditates (hilariously, although somewhat informatively) on And Then There's This, a new book by Bill Wasik that looks at the power of viral culture. While the presentation is, in fact, somewhat “insider-y,” we're big fans of his shoutout to Mom Forwards with the historic gem, “Don’t use your cell phone at the gas station, it’ll make the pump explode!”
One insurance company has decided to bring the Bahamas to the Dirty Jerz. Viral campaign or not, one thing we're always happy to see is middle-aged women pairing floppy hats and sunglasses with dangly jewelry and Chico's blazers.
Outsource that obligatory Mom's Day phone call to someone who really cares. You know, like some guy in India. (via Gorilla Mask).
Tech Buzz Uh oh. Everyone's favorite microblogging service (and that's literally EVERYONE) is seeing a bit of failure after its huge enforcement by the queen of all media recommendations, @Oprah. Twitter's retention rate (that's those who stay with the service after one month) has dropped to over 60% after Oprah pimped the site on her show and was at 30% before the growth. You can pretty much guess the future quitters by their first tweet. If it's any variation of “Seeing what this Twitter thing is all about…” they're goners.
Now moms are on the net, too, and it looks like they're really making the most of it. Shit gets surreal around a minute in when some weird dude with hair shows up carrying roses. (Via the always wonderful Everything Is Terrible.)
Culture Buzz There is so much wrong with this video, it's not even funny. But, then again, it is. Because this 60-year-old mother describes to her daughter - in graphic detail - her sexual fantasies before explaining the glory of buttsex, the importance of masturbation, and the importance “handling your business.” (And somehow it gets worse. Way worse.) But the real question is: WHO IS SUBMITTING THESE QUESTIONS? More importantly, why are they doing this to us? (And why are we watching?!)
Tech Buzz CNN is reporting that your mom just joined Facebook. Women older than 55 are the fastest-growing group on the site, with 1.5 million currently on the site - a 550 percent increase in the past 6 months.
The Peekaru Original is like a Snuggie for moms and babies, or dads and babies I guess. Only it's creepy in a different way and four times more expensive.
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A mom swears that her kid's jigsaw puzzle is haunted. And this is why I am A-OK with being “the fun uncle” for a few more years.
Culture Buzz I don’t know how else to put this, other than, “A cannibal cult mother who tortured her son in a locked cellar while relatives skinned him and forced him to eat his own flesh has been jailed for nine years.” Holy skin-eating cannibals, and you thought your mom was rough?
TV Buzz Forgetting anything they learned (or didn’t learn) about NBC’s quarterlife, ABC has given the green light to airing thirteen episodes of web series In The Motherhood, starring Leah Remini, Chelsea Handler, and Jenny McCarthy. Despite the product placement being just a tad heavy-handed, In The Motherhood seems like a funny, freshly irreverent take on motherhood. And at one point, the moms stand around eating a bowl of chips and salsa, which is something that mothers …apparently do now?
Style Buzz Tired of hiding your Mom-bangs underneath a silly baseball cap? Now you don’t have to, thanks to this revolutionary product that lets you wear a hat and show everyone your hair! AT THE SAME TIME! You can also make it into a visor for those days when you want to instantly age yourself by 20 years.
Although this week's Sunny didn't have quite the numbe…
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