BuzzFeed
masturbate
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The Worst Of The John Travolta Lawsuit
Celebrity Buzz Very specific and very disturbing allegations. Two masseurs are suing the Hollywood titan for sexual assault as they were attempting to give him massages, and the lawsuit is quite explicit in their charges. Travolta's lawyer has dismissed the suit as “complete fiction.” WARNING: Very graphic language.
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Brett Ratner Is Awesome
Celebrity Buzz And as a result of being awesome, he's no longer producing the Oscars. Here's Brett Ratner, visionary director behind the wildly successful and totally living up to expectations Tower Heist, on his painstaking film-making process. To be fair, he's since apologized for this comment. But I don't really feel like being fair. This guy is the worst. At everything.
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Link: Brazilian Woman Legally Entitled To Masturbate At Work
http://weirdnews.aol.com/2011/05/16/ana-catarian-bezerra-...
![[link]](http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/images/public/icons/external-link2.png)
Most of us already do, in one way or another.
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The Worst Of Dov Charney
Celebrity Buzz American Apparel founder and CEO Dov Charney is being sued by a former employee for allegedly keeping her as a sex slave. This is but the latest chapter in Charney's sordid history of pervy behavior, sexual harassment lawsuits and salacious statements. Here are some quotes by and about Charney that might provide some context for his current woes.
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Image: Proof God Wanted Humans To Masturbate
Now you know why the T-Rex was so angry. Makes me feel sad for fish, too.
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The 8 Greatest Craigslist JO Sessions
Culture Buzz Sometimes two dudes have to do what two dudes have to do. No gay stuff.
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Image: Gum Stops Masturbatory Urges
HandzOff gives users instant relief for up to 6 hours! … seems legit.
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Image: Was the Cowardly Lion Masturbating Too Much?
Guess I'm not visiting /r/psychology anymore… [Ed. Note: Please never, ever make me use the “cowardly lion masturbation” tag again. My favorite childhood movie has just been severely tarnished.]
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Image: Put Together My IKEA Table…
Wait, so you get a fully assembled IKEA table and you get to masturbate? Sounds like a win-win for you, but what do I get out of this?
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Image: Mutual Masturbation, Model Trains, and Crab Meat
For this dude, it's just another night filled with hand jobs, choo choo trains, and that damn fake crab he just can't get rid of! All aboard the Molester Express! Last stop: prison!
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Image: The Fleshlight Motion
At some point, it's got to be easier to just go out and find a partner.
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Walking In On Your Cat
Culture Buzz When you live with other people (or animals) a situation like this is inevitable, and it's always uncomfortable.
