This picture sums up the '90s pretty nicely.

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The Best Links:

1. Via WTFoodge

Here is an incredibly bizarre video that features Mariah's music, Mary J.'s silly faces, still photos, memes, prison, pro-wrestling, and local news bloopers. And weed. After this nightmare, we're pretty much guaranteed Mary will never again reconsider smoking crack.

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MUSIC BUZZ: Mariah Carey is in talks to make a musical about her life. She wants Leona Lewis or Vanessa Hudgens (of High School Musical and nude photo fame) to star. Will they do the songs in chronological order, or will they start off with “Touch My Body” and then do flashbacks until the glorious “Always Be My Baby” tire-swinging finale? And holy crap, imagine the costumes. Broadway needs to survive long enough for this to happen.

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The Best Links:

1. Carey’s spokesperson confirms the talks
2. Mimi the Musical!
3. Hopefully, it will go better than this…
4. …or this.
5. “Always Be My Baby”
6. ‘Touch My Body’ - Korean Remake

A precious Korean boy, Dong-won Kim, gives us his sexy version of Mariah Carey's hit, “Touch My Body.” I've never felt less sexy in my life.

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The Best Links:

1. Korean boy’s SINGING “TOUCH MY BODY”, Mariah Carey’s song
2. Touch Dong’s Body

Link: http://jezebel.com/5104526/15-favorit...

Jezebel's flawless roundup of the most cuckoobananas lady celebs on the planet. Honorable mentions, in our humble opinion: Sally Kellerman , Jackie Stallone , and Carrie Fisher (although, to be fair, she knows she's bonkers.

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The Best Links:

1. Carrie Fisher - Featured on Buzzfeed

The diva surprised a D.C. crowd with her rendition of Mariah’s jam. Hearing Aretha Franklin sing, “If there’s a camera up in here, then I’d best not catch this flick on YouTube” is, indeed, disconcerting, but you don’t mess with royalty.

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The Best Links:

1. via ohnotheydidnt

If Mariah Carey’s sexy jam was meant to be sung into a webcam by anyone, it was definitely this extremely young, completely unsupervised little kid. Well, now we know what they’re singing around the campfire at Camp Mariah .

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The Best Links:

1. I Believe The Children Are Our Future
2. Please Don’t Touch This Kid’s Body
3. “Touch My Body” [The Grown Up Version]
4. Mariah Carey’s Green Screen Remix - Featured Video on BuzzFeed
5. First A Child, Now A Dead Guy? Why Do All the Wrong People Sing This Song??

Digital artist Oliver Laric remixed the video to Mimi’s “Touch My Body” so that we see nothing but Mariah in front of a green screen. Seemingly, Laric’s take on the video illustrates that Mariah is, um…a skank? Art, man…powerful stuff…

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The Best Links:

1. Oliver Laric [The Artist’s Homepage]
2. “I think I may have found a kindred spirit.”

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Rumors quickly swirled about Mariah Carey’s engagement to actor Nick Cannon, but apparently they’ve since been married at her home in the Bahamas. Twelve years Carey’s junior, Nick is excited to be gaining both a wife and — perhaps in enough time — a MILF.

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The Best Links:

1. Mariah And Nick Cannon’s Whirwind Romance
2. Wedding Rumors Confirmed By …Nick’s Mom
3. Mimi’s Ring: “58 Intense Pink Diamonds and 2 Half-Moon Diamonds” [All Class]
4. “These Two Kids Have Nothing But 800 Million Dollars and a Heart Filled With Love”
5. For Our Readers Who Don’t Watch Nickelodeon, Here’s the Scoop On Nick Cannon