Noted Tumblr-er and TV-screengrabber Soup took this image of Gwyneth Paltrow with very shiny, lubed-up legs on Conan. The internet hates Gwyneth, so now everyone is making lard jokes (FYI, it's lotion!). I am this [ ] close to making a “Leeeave Gwyneth Allloonnnnnne” video.

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The Best Links:

1. Fishy Oil
2. What Was That Goop All Over Gwyneth Paltrow’s Legs on the Tonight Show?
3. Your request is being processed… Gwyneth Paltrow: Her ‘Sensitive Thug’ Son, Oily Legs And Butt Exercises (VIDEO)
4. Defending Gwyneth Paltrow - Featured on BuzzFeed

This week's newsletter from Gwyneth Paltrow focuses on a former “frenemy” who was publicly humiliated, much to the Goopster's glee. All the gossip gurus agree that the frenemy is Winona Ryder. I like to think that Gwyneth knew we'd all figure it out and just wanted to be awesomely bitchy. That I can respect.

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The Best Links:

1. Paltrow made this an easy blind item.
2. “Sticky Fingers Winona”—a history
3. GOOP - Featured on BuzzFeed

CELEBRITY BUZZ: This is most definitely not a trend, but I'd like to make it one. Mostly because I have an insane girl crush on GP, seeing as she is: attractive, smart, stylish, a good actress, married to a “rock star,” and has homes in both London and the Hamptons where I could probably crash were we friends. And today's GOOP was sweet, if a little unaffordable. So please consider this post a safe space for Paltrow fans to share feelings and hopes for a world in which Gwyneth will once again be loved. (Coldplay fans maybe not welcome, though.)

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The Best Links:

1. GOOP
2. Even the NYT is piling on, which means it’s definitely time to switch teams.
3. Gwyneth Paltrow Wonders Why People Hate Her
4. Jezebel on Gwyneth’s hair
5. Fishy is the one who doesn’t understand.
6. Open Letter to Gwyneth Paltrow
7. “Gwyneth’s Full of Poop”
8. Gwyneth Paltrow Will Not Rest Until Everyone Hates Her
9. Gwyneth Paltrow on Her ‘Weird, Blessed, Interesting Life’
10. They’re even cancelling Gwyneth movies now, WTF.

Joaquin Phoenix is not the only cast member of Two Lovers who made interesting choices last night. Is it just me, or do those look like a pair of leather Umbros?

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The Best Links:

1. Where’s Joaquin Phoenix? - Featured on BuzzFeed

CELEBRITY BUZZ: There's been so much stuff about detox diets and how they don't work. Gwyneth's diet may or may not work, but at least you won't be drinking cayenne lemonade all day. The diet consists of bowel-moving foods like chicken, smoothies, and fruit, and bans gluten, dairy, processed food, shellfish, condiments, and sugar. It's refreshing to hear a refined Hollywood actress talk so openly about bowel movements.

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The Best Links:

1. Gwyneth Paltrow Shares Post-Holiday Cleanse
2. Get the Sample Menus and Other Words of Wisdom from Gwyneth Herself

CELEBRITY BUZZ: Then sign up for her new and completely random lifestyle website, Goop. Guidance you’ll get from Gwyneth includes: “Cook a meal for someone you love, go to a city you’ve never been to, learn something new, don’t be lazy.” Wait - so if we follow these completely uninspirational tips, we might have a chance to makeout with Brad Pitt or Chris Martin? No f’ing way!

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The Best Links:

1. Goop.com
2. Who Wants to Look At Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP?
3. Gwyneth Paltrow Launches Web Site
4. Gwyneth Paltrow launches lifestyle web site ‘Goop’
5. Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP
6. http://www.shinyshiny.tv/2008/09/weird_website_o_46.html

MOVIE BUZZ: Tony Stark’s Girl Friday is getting love as a superhero assistant/sex symbol. Gwyneth Paltrow may have undone the badness of Sliding Doors and Shallow Hal with her turn in Iron Man .

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The Best Links:

1. Gwynnie’s Pepper Potts High Heels Spark Trend
2. Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Potts: Surprisingly Super
3. Gwyneth Paltrow Plays Pepper Potts, Answers Questions
4. Which Pepper Potts Do You Prefer?
5. Not Everyone Hearts Gywenth as Potts
6. The Background on Pepper Potts
7. Let’s Call Her “Iron Ankles”