Megan Mariah Barnes caused a two-car accident in Key West last week because she was trimming her bikini line while driving. (She was headed to see her boyfriend.) After the crash, her ex-husband took the wheel. So: her ex-husband was with her while she was ladyscaping for a date with another guy, while driving. Florida!

The Best Links:

1. Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat. “She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Trooper Gary Dunick said. “If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot … who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, ‘Nothing will ever beat this.’ Well, this takes it.”
2. The Thunderbird she was driving slammed into the back of another vehicle and she kept on going. Cops say about a half-mile down the road Barnes pulled over and jumped into the back seat and let her ex-husband get in the driver’s seat. Barnes was convicted of a second DUI and driving under suspension the day before, so she really didn’t need to get caught driving again.

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Link: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-an...

10-foot pythons are breeding, killing people, & roaming the Florida Everglades b/c dumb pet owners set them free years ago. Now, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission has declared it Python Season (on March 6th) where anyone w/ a hunting license can go shoot the bastards down!

The Best Links:

1. The Great Python Hunt
2. The World’s Deadliest Snakes Photo Gallery

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Did you know that Florida is the last state in America with an outright ban on gay adoptions? Maybe it's because the jerks at the Florida Family Policy Council of Orlando keep doing stuff like this.

The Best Links:

1. Via Orlando Sentinel
2. Turns out, the image on the left is the first Google result for “ugly lesbians.”

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A retirement community in Florida is fighting to evict a 6 year old girl from her house, where she lives with her grandparents. According to their bylaws, no one under the age of 55 is allowed to live in the community. This is the most evil town of Grandmas and Grandpas ever. I bet they don't ever have hard candy and their hugs feel like pitchforks.

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Oh good, a blind guy driving with a stick. Excellent. By the look of the scenery, it's just another Thursday in Boca Raton, so at least we know the mall security guards are prepared to attack.

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Celebration, Florida is a “census-designated, master-planned community” owned by The Walt Disney Company as part of the Orlando–Kissimmee Metropolitan Statistical Area. One homeless narcoleptic woman documents her adventures in this “paradise.” Maybe dreams really do come true (for narcoleptic hobos who fantasize about migrating south).

The Best Links:

1. The Wandering Narcoleptic - Follow Her Journey

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POLITICS BUZZ: While Americans welcomed their first black president with open arms, it seems they’re still not down with the gays getting, y’know, equal rights and stuff. You’d have thought that the country’s favorite talk show host could have at least warmed California over, for goodness’ sake.

The Best Links:

1. Did Prop 8 Pass?
2. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
3. Why We Lost Prop 8
4. California, Arizona, and Florida Vote Against Gay Rights
5. Andrew Sullivan: “We Shall Overcome. Do Not Be Discouraged. But We May Still Win.”

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Some jokester in Florida managed to get an Obama bumper sticker on John McCain’s bus. It’s a shaky cellphone camera image, but still pretty funny. Perhaps this explains why the Straight Talk Express crashed in Miami yesterday.

The Best Links:

1. Rough Couple of Days For The Straight Talk Express

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