Santa has started a new Twitter account, and apparently he only updates it when he's drunk… And he's drunk A LOT.

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The Best Links:

1. Visit Loaded Santa’s Twitter for More

If you make it into DonQ's Secret Room , you can boost BuzzFeed's top posts with a comment on the homepage. Find out what posts were boosted most from the Secret Room and answer the age old question: what wins at the internet: kittens or drunk chicks?

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This whole “too drunk to function” thing is so in right now .

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The Best Links:

1. Drunk Guy At A Convenience Store

When you pick a fight with some drag queens, make sure that they are not championship cage fighters out celebrating with their buddies.

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What's better than a hot girl and a YouTube stunt FAIL? Hot girls FAILing on YouTube, of course.

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Double X and Slate V experiment to see how much work they could get done if they drank as much as the guys from Mad Men do in the middle of the day.

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Amy Winehouse tried to make us listen to her rapping, and we said no (no, no). [Amanda's Note: SHE'S BACK! Amy I missed you.]

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The Best Links:

1. via Gawker

I don't know what this is except that this guy is drunk, in his underwear, says “joof” and wants to watch Trading Spaces . Oh and also you see a lot more of his junk than you may want to see. So be forewarned, etc.

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Yay! For once, the U.S. doesn't have the most embarrassing stats about teenagers!

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The Best Links:

1. UK teenage girls ‘worst drunks’

Nothing is gonna stop this guy from enjoying his cupcake.

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This photo taken this morning of a mostly naked guy passed out slumped over the famous Wall Street bull sculpture is probably a good sign that things are getting better, or alternatively, a terrible sign that things have hit rock bottom.

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Talking boobies that are drunk and at the club. And it's not even Wednesday!

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CELEBRITY BUZZ: Oprah paid for 2,000 people (staffers and their guests) to take a 10-day Mediterranean cruise that allegedly resulted in pure debauchery, including naked drunks, a forgotten passenger, and a couple caught having sex on deck. With O's hubby Steadman nowhere to be found, Gayle King made sure to hop on board, but not because she's Oprah's gal pal or anything. She just wanted to steer the boat.

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The Best Links:

1. So Who’s the Naked Dude On the Couch?
2. Anyone Seen Steadman?
3. Oprah Reportedly Dropped Almost $10M On the Whole Damn Thing! Number One Boss Award, You Guys!

A collection of the internet's drunkest people doing what they do best, falling over.

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CULTURE BUZZ: In Dream Club , players try to get the Japanese hostesses drunk so they start talking about the things they normally wouldn't. The ladies will also get up on stage, sing karaoke and run around the cabaret in cosplay if players use the so-called “Interactive Inshu System” correctly. Inshu means “drinking alcohol,” so you get the idea. Summer 09, Japan only.

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The Best Links:

1. More Boozin’ With Japanese Hostesses Screens
2. Drink Booze With Japanese Hostesses
3. Hostess Clubs on Wikipedia

Link: http://gawker.com/5136396/diane-sawye...

Gawker compiled a video of the journo's messiest moments throughout Inauguration coverage. Dear Internet: Please, please let footage surface of Diane playing beer pong with Charles Gibson. Pretty please ?

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Apparently a meme that has gone far too long unnoticed, Drunk Jeff Goldblum is pointed out by Videogum as one of the finest uses of stuttered vocal effects ever. Now if only someone would find a clip of Goldblum in Powder . That would somehow make the movie even more AWESOME!

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The Best Links:

1. The 8 Best “Drunk Jeff Goldblum” Videos

FOOD BUZZ: With the news that Miller is discontinuing Sparks (aka the Hipster Beverage Of Choice), we bring you a public service how-to on making your own malt liquor/energy drink.

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The Best Links:

1. Order a 24 Pack of Red Bull
2. MillerCoors Agrees To Discontinue Sparks