These gourds are somehow incredibly disturbing. If you want to have a good day, it's best you don't look at them.

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The Best Links:

1. Core 77

Chrissy Conant's “Chrissy Skin Rug” is either a charming ode to Silence of the Lambs, or a disturbing metaphor. I'll assume it's a metaphor, but I'd much rather imagine her saying to guests, “You see, it puts the carpet cleaner on its skin, and it looks as clean as ever!” [Update: Typo and bad grammar corrected - sorry!]

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The Best Links:

1. Chrissy Conant
2. via Neatorama

I'd probably lose a little weight if these terrifying, judgmental eyes were always criticizing my food choices.

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Celebrated archivists EverythingIsTerrible unearthed this video of Ted Danson running game. Special correspondent Eliot Glazer informs me that this comes from an 1986 PSA entitled How Can I Tell If I'm Really In Love? , which you will want to go read about here . Trust me.

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The Best Links:

1. Poorly Produced Sex Education PSAs from the 80s Featuring Ted Danson and the Batemans
2. via Videogum

Since I'm recently all about the creepy , why not continue my streak. Today's venture, Crappy Taxidermy , teaches you to properly bury your animals in your backyard and leave well enough alone.

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The Best Links:

1. Crappy Taxidermy
2. Taxidermy on Buzzfeed

Apparently used for teaching midwives in 19th century Japan, these pregnant dolls not only included placenta and stretch marks, but also interchangeable fetuses of different stages. I'm just glad there are no commercials for these dolls.

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The Best Links:

1. More creepy pregnant dolls at Pink Tentacle
2. Other creepy things on Buzzfeed!

I have no idea what's going on here, but it's seriously creeping me out. …And making me hungry.

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The Best Links:

1. by Flickr user sonmisonmi

TECH BUZZ: So here's something creepy: Upload your portrait and turn it into a moving, talking 3D likeness of yourself. Perfect for those who can't wait for their robot likeness to arrive in the mail. As a test subject, I've tried out a recently submitted photo of Jack . Upload yours and share the link below!

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The Best Links:

1. PhotoFace

In a disturbingly silent YouTube video, a man shows off his luxuriously long mermaid hair. Someone get this guy on a Pantene commercial.

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While normally cute, raccoons can be totally evil and scary when put to the test.

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The Best Links:

1. Raccoon Bites Off Man’s Penis in Rape Attack
2. Eating Raccoon
3. Via BIOTV

Link: http://fansecrets.tumblr.com/

Imagine Post Secret with a creepy fan fiction spin. Did you know there's a whole slew of fanfic-focused terms? Ship means “to endorse a romantic relationship,” slash is meant to denote homosexual pairings, and fap means to masturbate. Huh! Who knew? (…Well, obviously quite a few.)

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The Best Links:

1. via This Recording
2. PostSecret

In the latest round of Michael Jackson's weird stuff auctions there's a poem about doing it with children. It goes: “Children of the world, we'll do it, with song and dance and innocent bliss, and the soft caress of a loving kiss, we'll do it.” Note to the children: don't do it.

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The Best Links:

1. Michael Jackson’s Statues Are Not Helping His Public Image
2. More Creepy Crap Unveiled For Michael Jackson’s Auction

Available now on eBay! Obviously this is a one-of-a-kind item. Guaranteed to give you creepy but oddly poignant nightmares.

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The Best Links:

1. Bidding starts at $299!
2. Insane Animal Paintings on eBay
3. Outsider Art Torso Phone
4. Unusual phone offered on eBay

Link: http://www.asylum.com/2009/02/13/caug...

They claim it's “like blinking”, but I don't buy it. Check out some of the creepiest (and most famous) oglers.

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Relax, watch TV, and indulge your lap-related fantasies. Someone should make sure the old guy in this picture is still alive.

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The Best Links:

1. Buy Your Own Lap Pillow Here

Two sets of identical twins meet, fall in love, have a joint wedding, and set up homes next to each other before one of the couples birth their own set of identical twin boys. Should this make me feel as uneasy as I do when I watch the polygamist compound video?

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The Best Links:

1. Identical Twins Marry, Give Birth to Identical Twins

TECH BUZZ: A YouTube for paranormal activity. There’s a YouTube out there for God , porn , and now ghosts.

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The Best Links:

1. The Official Website
2. Ghost Sightings - Featured on BuzzFeed
3. Elevator Ghost - Featured Video on BuzzFeed
4. Homemade Ouija Boards - Featured on BuzzFeed

Chinese dude can drink milk and squirt it out of his eyes. He can also allegedly blow up balloons with his ears. And I can make you vomit with my typing fingers!

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The Best Links:

1. Eyes + Milk

FOOD BUZZ: See a photo gallery of impressive food sculptures. As if I didn’t already have enough issues with food, these photos don’t really help.

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The Best Links:

1. Watch a Video of a Master Watermelon Sculptor
2. Check Out the Gallery Here
3. Jimmy Zhang’s Chinese-Inspired Food Sculpture
4. The Art of Fruit and Vegetable Carving
5. “Food Sculpture Goes From Cute to Creepy”
6. Gallery: Neat Food Sculptures Are Weird and Fun

TECH BUZZ: Houson, Texas is being invaded by so called “crazy rasberry ants”, that came over on a cargo boat. Apparently, they infest electronic devices and can ruin computers and even gas meters. They’re like the bedbugs of the tech world! Reading about these ants is giving me that creepy-crawly tingly scalp feeling, not unlike the feeling I get from looking at manbabies .

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The Best Links:

1. YouTube - Crazy Rasberry Ant from Texas
2. FAQ: How to Identify, Prevent, and Kill Crazy Rasberry Ants
3. Yse, I Have Encountered Them, and Yes, They Are Crazy
4. Ants Swarm Over Houston Area, Messing Up Computers
5. Horror Story Is “Insanely Creepy”