POLITICS BUZZ: An investigation into allegations that U.S. intelligence officers have intercepted, recorded, and shared hundreds of phone sex calls between U.S. citizens is underway. That part about eavesdropping on phone sex calls must have been the juicy part no one got to in the Patriot Act.

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The Best Links:

1. ABC News Has the Inside Account of U.S. Eavesdropping on Americans
2. ABC News Exposes Secret Government Phone Sex Ring
3. Top US Spy Boss Says There’s An Investigation Underway
4. U.S. Spied On Americans’ Phone Sex Conversations Abroad

POLITICS BUZZ: The PBS anchor has mysteriously broken her ankle just days before she’s set to moderate the upcoming vice presidential debate between Senator Joe Biden and Sarah Palin. Ifill reportedly slipped and fell down her stairs at home, making this a very unfortunate happenstance that just stinks of some old Republican Party Stair Grease. Conspiracy theorists…have at it!

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The Best Links:

1. VP Debate Moderator Gwen Ifill Breaks Ankle, HOW PECULIAR HMM?
2. Gwen Ifill Breaks Ankle - The Show Will Go On
3. Fallen? Or PUSHED?! Dunh, dunh, DUNH.
4. Ifill Breaks Ankle But Still Plans to Moderate Veep Debate

SPORTS BUZZ: Did Michael Phelps actually lose the 100M butterfly final? Or did he deserve his (briefly contested) seventh gold medal in the 2008 Olympics? An anonymous writer at 001ofasecond.com claims Phelps benefited from an Olympic conspiracy because the event’s official timekeeper, Omega, is a Phelps sponsor. The theory is written in delightfully broken English and peppered with ad hominem attacks.

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The Best Links:

1. 0.01 of a Second
2. The Silver Medalist Blogs His Loss
3. The Photo Finish, in Photos
4. How the Omega Clock Works
5. Did the Big Clock Lie?
6. Phelps Matches Spitz With Seven Golds
7. Did Michael Phelps Actually Win That Last Race?
8. Phelps-Cavic Photo Finish

This lady thinks a rainbow showing up in her sprinkler is a sign that the government is putting chemicals in the water. And if you’ll buy that one, she’s got 49 more conspiracy theory videos in her YouTube channel.

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The Best Links:

1. Sprinkler Lady’s Videos
2. Crazy Sprinkler Lady
3. Sprinkler Lady Thinks Wind in the Clouds is an Electromagnetic Plasma Field
4. Sprinkler Lady Thinks the Moon is a Mirror
5. Sprinkler Lady Thinks the Wind is a Mysterious Energy Field
6. Sprinkler Lady Thinks a Car Alarm is a Government Timer Going Off

CULTURE BUZZ: When the body of the Private First Class was returned to her parents in Missouri from Iraq, LaVena Johnson’s father called bullsh*t on the Army’s claim that her death was the result of a suicide. Footage clearly indicates that, in reality, Johnson was likely beaten, raped and murdered (in fact, a trail of blood was photographed outside her tent). The Army, however, has refused to provide further information regarding the case, proving that, even in an “army of one,” it’s not hard for a soldier to be easily forgotten if she isn’t a white male (or, better yet, a star football player).

The Best Links:

1. LaVena Johnson: Murdered By Her Colleagues, Ignored By The Army
2. The Pfc. LaVena Johnson Petition to Re-Open the Investigation
3. “The Case Was Investigated Thoroughly and There is No Case to Reopen,” Says a Defense Department Spokesman [Also, Johnson’s Genitals Were Allegedly Doused With Acid, So…Yeah, No Evidence Of Foul Play Whatsoever]
4. “When the Coroner Ruled Her Death a Suicide and Failed to Include Any of the Physical Trauma in His Report, Dr. Johnson Told Him, ‘somebody Murdered My Daughter and You Picked the Wrong Person to **** With.’”
5. Even Pat Tillman’s Mother is Suspicious

TECH BUZZ: Recent outages in the Middle East give rise to conspiracy theories. How did the internet pipeline off the coast of Alexandria get severed? When the facts are sketchy, the internet conspiracy machine will be there to fill the holes! Current potential culprits: The CIA.

The Best Links:

1. The UN Says it May Have Been the Work of…Saboteurs!
2. Bring on the Crazy Theories, Internet!
3. Global Internet Connections: The Map
4. The Economist Rationally Explains Why the Conspiracy Theories Don’t Hold Water
5. Bloggers Up in Arms Over Outage
6. Crank Up the Theory-O-Meter!
7. Mainstream Theories Don’t Pass the Smell Test
8. Thousands of Middle Eastern Internet Cafes Go Silent at Once
9. Damage Like This Takes a Long Time to Fix
10. Another One Bites the Dust
11. AT&T Gets Taken Down by the CIA, Too?