This kid's got a busy day ahead of him. Somebody get him some breasts for his ten-o-clock appointment.

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He's all, OMG, WTF!? I don't know. I don't fucking know how to make baby jokes. Just look at the picture. The baby is surprised.

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This is a thing. Babies are super into “Single Ladies” and like nothing better than dancing to it. Some might consider this to be something that is cute.

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I would be scared too if a terrible bloodthirsty flying monster landed on my head.

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Death scenes in movies don't have to be all sad and weepy. Sometimes they can pretty violent and awesome. Go ahead and add your favorites too.

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For those of you who are sick of having a life.

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“If you put a girl in a sundress & french braids in front of the average pedophile, now he's gonna get an erection that will rip his bike shorts.” Classic, essential advice from an ex-pedophile on how to protect your children from sexual predators.

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I wish I had an explanation, but then again, I kind of don't, y'know? Because, really, what can you say about a flock of village children pouring out of a van being held back by shirtless Spiderman as he protects a flock of ducklings? (Thanks, Jackie !)

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The internet has changed a lot of things, but its nice to see the comfort and safety of our children is still important.

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It took me a lot longer than I care to admit to figure out what was wrong with this picture.

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Baby in a tuxedo? Awesome. Baby in a tuxedo doing a 360? Bring it on. More babies in tuxedos at Urlesque . (Yes, seriously.)

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The Best Links:

1. Kids in Tuxedos Are Masterful Comedians

….because some parents are clueless like that.

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In the latest round of Michael Jackson's weird stuff auctions there's a poem about doing it with children. It goes: “Children of the world, we'll do it, with song and dance and innocent bliss, and the soft caress of a loving kiss, we'll do it.” Note to the children: don't do it.

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The Best Links:

1. Michael Jackson’s Statues Are Not Helping His Public Image
2. More Creepy Crap Unveiled For Michael Jackson’s Auction

Sara at Best Week Ever has a theory that the further you are away from Ludacris, the sadder you are as a person. And she has a chart to prove it, so really it's more like scientific fact than a theory. Q.E.D. Now somebody get Ludacris over here so I can feel joy again.

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The Best Links:

1. THEORY: The Farther Away You Are From Ludacris, The Sadder You Are

Outrageously inappropriate, horrifyingly gross. There should be a new label-badge called “turn off your computer and go lie down.”

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The Best Links:

1. Sweet Daddy Bear
2. “what is the granddaughter willing to put on the table in order to go fishing?”

Link: http://www.gigglesugar.com/2512361

Puppets are scary, hateful creatures, and I don't blame him one bit. In fact, I think this is the only really appropriate reaction to watching those demonic wooden dolls work their evil magic.

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CULTURE BUZZ: An awesome, customizable fort-building set. Crazy Forts plus a bed sheet equals very cool forts.

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The Best Links:

1. “Just add bedsheets for endless fun”
2. You Can Download Different “Blueprints” For Different Forts
3. “Just when you thought a kid’s world was powered exclusively by batteries…”

CULTURE BUZZ: A slew of artists and toy makers are creating real life renderings of children’s drawings. Artist Yeondoo Jung’s photo recreations of drawings by kindergarteners faithfully capture all the whimsy and skewed proportions of the originals. Kids these days get all the cool stuff: first those Heelys sneaker skates, then gummy vitamins, and now this.

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The Best Links:

1. Child Drawings Turned Real Toys
2. “Ever Thought About Translating Your Kids Drawings Into a Photograph?”
3. I Totally Crapped My Pants, Then I Called Bullshit
4. Yeondoo Jung Official site
5. Kid Drawings Made Realistic - The Monster Engine
6. Your Drawings Stuffed With Recycled Material
7. Yeondoo Jung’s Photos from Crayon Drawings

STYLE BUZZ: Singer Beyoncé’s fashion line, House of Dereon, has created a collection for young girls. The controversial ad campaign features preschoolers in four inch heels, feather boas and looking generally trashy. I can only imagine how terrifying of the House of Dereon Baby collection must be.

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The Best Links:

1. Pimp My Kid: The House of Dereon
2. Beyoncé Tarting Up Young Girls Too
3. Dereon Girls Ad Too Adult
4. When Advertising Goes Too Far: House of Dereon for Girls
5. “House of Dereon wants to turn your child into a baby slut!”
6. Vote On Whether You Think These Clothes Are Trashy
7. House of Dereon for Girls at Macy’s
8. Meet House of Dereon..BABY!