CELEBRITY BUZZ – The funny couple have decided to call it quits after five years.And we thought true love could live off dirty jokes and foul language. Sad.

The Best Links:

1. Kimmel and Silverman No Longer “F***ing”
2. Thanks For Nothing, Matt Damon
3. “The Frivolous and Flighty Details of Celebrity Lives Rarely Touch Our Cold, Dark Hearts, But This News Has Truly Bummed Us Out.”
4. I’m Fucking Ben Affleck By Jimmy Kimmel
5. I’m Fucking Matt Damon By Sarah Silverman

CELEBRITY BUZZ – The nasty divorce proceedings get kind of amazing for celebrity a-holes Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards, as audio recordings surface in which Sheen calls his now ex-wife — among other insults — the N-word. Hooray for Hollywood!Sheen publicly apologized, [seriously] citing that a black guy was the best man at his first two weddings. Because as everyone knows, the best way to reform one’s racist leanings is to dress up a person of color in fancy clothes and give them an inconsequential title. Hear that, Dr. King? That’s the sound of progress!

The Best Links:

1. P.S. Denise Richards Not Black
2. What’s Worse: Charlie Sheen Calling His Wife a Dispicably Misplaced Racial Slur, Or the Fact That E! Calls It the “N-Bomb”?
3. Charlie Sheen Also Lambasted Denise About Her Mother As She Was Undergoing Chemotherapy [The Worst People in the World]
4. Read the Transcripts
5. An Academic Exploration Into the Origin of “Ni**er”
6. Ni**ers Vs. Leprechauns: Who’s REALLY At Fault?
7. Charlie Just Wants to See His Kids!

CELEBRITY BUZZ – Pete Doherty plants one on Amy Winehouse, and the world realizes what a beautiful couple they’d make.At first glance, this seemed too trashy to post, but now it kind of serves the purpose of being diametrically opposed to the Scarlett-Penelope kiss.

The Best Links:

1. Hot Close-Ups! Open Sores!
2. Pete Doherty visits Amy Winehouse at 4AM
3. Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty Are Releasing a Duet Together
4. Pete Is Finally Free! Kisses Amy Winehouse to Celebrate
5. Lots of Photos
6. Most Perfect Couple Ever, As Long as They Don’t Procreate
7. Blakey’s Coming After Them…After He Gets Released from Prison

CELEBRITY BUZZ – The actress is snapped in New York getting all huggy with the scruffy freak-folk star.A photo - one that that flatters no one, by the way - sparks speculation that Portman and Banhart are dating, much to the chagrin of pretty much everyone.

The Best Links:

1. Game Recognize Game
2. Finally, a Man to Match Natalie’s Hippy-Worthy Resume
3. Natalie Portman Breaks Charlie Manson Out Of Jail to Enjoy The Springtime
4. Hats Off to DevBan
5. She Like Musicians, Apparently
6. Jezebel Commenters Hate Devendra’s Style
7. Did I Just Coin the Name Devenalie?