See, because the kids slide out of the…yes, yes, you see it now.

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The insane cable host has a bizarre notion: Rally people in D.C. to recapture the spirit of the country in the days following the attacks of 9/11. No word if Beck's going to try to lobby automakers to bring back those great zero-financing deals we all were offered back then.

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The Best Links:

1. “Glenn Beck is an actual terrorist, and the people attending his rally in DC tomorrow are al-Qaeda in America.”
2. The 9/12 Project: What?
3. Glenn Beck’s Idiotic 9/12 Project

Humo Magazine's shamefully offensive ad reminds us that the most tragic event in our nation's recent history is but weeks away! Most nauseating ad for a magazine ever? Mission accomplished.

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Brace yourselves: Hasbro is taking over Hollywood. If you loved the idea of movies based on popular action figures, you will doubtless be THRILLED to discover that several beloved board games are set to become blockbuster films in the near future. Yay?

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Obviously this guy hasn't seen this instructional video.

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The Best Links:

1. Yoga Ball Flip [PIC]

BUSINESS BUZZ: The online stock trading site Zecco surprised its customers with fake multi-million dollar balances. Ha-ha! But then something happened… People started buying lots and lots of real stock! Now, everybody's screwed. Woopsies, Zecco!

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The Best Links:

1. Online Brokerage Zecco Pretends To Give Away Millions, Panics When People Start Spending
2. Zecco April Fools’ Day: Million Dollar Account Balances
3. Zecco.com

Although it appears to be listed nowhere online, an artistic retrospective of Lindsay Lohan hangs in a gallery on Broadway in Manhattan, which I felt necessary to capture on film and share with the Hypertubes.

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The Best Links:

1. Missbehave Saw It, Too

CULTURE BUZZ: Michelle Owen's plan to bust her boyfriend's child porn habit backfired when cops found videos of her getting a lickin' from her beagle, Toby, in the computer's recycling bin. She claims they “were just something she did when she was drunk and barely remembers,” but sadly, Toby does. Try to avoid adopting any beagles named Toby in Whiteland, Indiana for a little while. They might have strange reactions to peanut butter.

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The Best Links:

1. Porn Sting Goes to the Dogs
2. Michelle Owen’s Police Affidavit
3. LADY DOG F–KER GETS ARRESTED :-(
4. Backfire of the Century

TV BUZZ: Yup, you read that right: The Soup 's Joel McHale and the 1970's Chevy Chase are partnering in Community , an NBC sitcom in which McHale's lawyer returns to community college and meets Chase's character, described only as a man who has been married five times. Let the battle of handsome, snarky TV personalities (and former handsome, snarky TV personalities) begin!

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The Best Links:

1. Chevy Chase, Finally Ready for Primetime Player
2. “While Mr. Chase Hasn’t Been Funny in Nearly Twenty Years, There is Always the Chance He Can Regain a Speck of His Past Glory”
3. Chevy Chase = the New Alec Baldwin?
4. Joel McHale Is A Cocksucker?

TECH BUZZ: Woot! has a top 10 list of video game ideas that keep getting rejected. Help me come up with more of these, and I will be your best friend forever. I'll be busy working on some cover art for these.

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The Best Links:

1. 10 Video Game Ideas That Keep Getting Rejected

This $5.25 mistake replaces fish for roast beef, and is therefore a total failjob. Do not want, unless of course we ever find ourselves hungry in the deepest recession since the Great Depression and … oh, right, ok pass the beef.

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The Best Links:

1. Roast Beef Sushi Fail
2. I’m All for Asian Fusion Food Once in a While

This kid and his snake are ssssssssssssssnuggling!

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The Best Links:

1. Let’s Hope It Lasts

Link: http://www.queerty.com/the-gay-steppi...

The rom-com about unlucky ladies and gentlemen in love (imagine that!) is looming on the horizon, and apparently the marginal characters - or “three gays and a Black guy” - prove to be almost as insulting as the fact that He's Just Not That Into You was made into a movie. To be fair, we should've seen coming in the trailer when Drew Barrymore's flock of geighz insist that “MySpace is the new booty call.” Ugh, nobody says that, gay or straight.

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The Best Links:

1. He’s Just Not That Into You - The Trailer
2. via Jezebel

TECH BUZZ: A new series in which engaged couples hoping to tie the knot on MySpace (how romantic!) will be chosen by the site's users, who will thereupon plan the big day. So for the lovebirds prepared to essentially fulfill the wedding fantasy of many an emo teenager, get out that camcorder and start professing. It's going to be **AweSum!*

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The Best Links:

1. The Series Will Be Produced by the Folks Behind “Big Brother”
2. Going to the Portal and We’re Gonna Get Married

From happy family to bloodbath in six easy steps.

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POLITICS BUZZ: The New Republic is reporting Tim McGraw is seriously thinking about running for governor of Tennessee in 2010. McGraw is a hardcore Democrat with absolutely no political experience, but is hoping name recognition alone can get him the job (Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ronald Reagan, etc.) Tennessee Democrats are apparently desperate for a big name Democrat to take on Bill Frist in 2010. Personally, I'm all for this. Faith Hill as first lady!!!!

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The Best Links:

1. Acuff set stage for McGraw’s political possibilities
2. Tim McGraw Not Running For Governor — Yet

Stephen Baldwin. Killer sharks. Venice. TV Movie. We all win. Sunday, December 14, 2008. 9:00pm. Be There.

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The Best Links:

1. Sunday, December 14, 2008
2. Shark In Venice trailer
3. Fuck Yeah Sharks!!!

MOVIE BUZZ: Will Smith's son Jaden is going to star in a remake of 80s epic The Karate Kid . This could be worse than the Psycho remake . Or The Next Karate Kid , for that matter. Just remember Hilary Swank, everyone.

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The Best Links:

1. Jackie Chan will star as Mr. Myagi?
2. Jaden Smith to star in Karate Kid Remake
3. Suggested replacements for Mr. Myagi
4. What the Next Karate Kid Will Be Like
5. Plot will “loosely follow” the original
6. This guy will not be happy.
7. The Crane
8. The Karate Kid (1984)
9. 25 Worst Movie Remakes of All Time

TV BUZZ: A reported Will & Grace spinoff is in the works for Megan Mullally and Sean Hayes’ flamboyant supporting characters. No word yet on whether Clay Aiken will play a sassy barmaid.

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The Best Links:

1. You’ll Never Believe Who Had the Idea for the Show!
2. Will We Get a “Rhoda” Or “Joey”?
3. It’s No “Remember Maris?”

This multi-colored, three-quarter sleeved buttoned-down is so hideous, it’s basically hypnotic. Although, if your upcoming Halloween costume is a middle school art teacher in 1990, you’ve found all you need — and at a steal for less than $70!

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The Best Links:

1. Buy Your Own “Jam’s World Theory Print Top”!
2. Pleasant Aesthetics Mean Nothing When This Shirt Is Involved