Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark! The Penny Shooter Business Card allows you to load up to ten US pennies and fire them off in rapid succession! I feel like a little kid, get the prototype here.
Remember that famous scene where Christian Bale wigs out over a business card? This is basically the same thing. Just real. And not ultimately ironic.