For years, a Russian professor has been predicting the end of the United States as we know it - a victim of civil war triggered by an epic moral and economic collapse. In his prediction map, Alaska goes to Russia (heh, Palin joke), The northeastern states join the European Union and “The Texas Republic” finally returns to Mexico.
Politics Buzz While Americans welcomed their first black president with open arms, it seems they’re still not down with the gays getting, y’know, equal rights and stuff. You’d have thought that the country’s favorite talk show host could have at least warmed California over, for goodness’ sake.
Who said Americans were egomaniacal ethnocentrics? We know exactly where our launderers come from, thank you very much. This map should come in handy if you’re deciding whether to spend your next vacation in a country of kangaroos or “pussies.”
In the third installment of one of the funniest series online, Jen Kirkman tells us about George Washington’s favorite slave, Oney. If only this was how we were taught history in high school, maybe we would have stayed in that AP class after all.
Business Buzz Mom-and-Pop stores should continue to cower in fear as this live map demonstrates the frighteningly rapid growth of America’s most ubiquitous superstore. Why do we feel so much less dirty shopping at Costco? Two words: free samples.
Gas prices reaching $4 per gallon!? That’s ridiculous, at least according to our President, who wasn’t aware. So is he trying to get assassinated now?
Celebrity Buzz As if it weren’t already easy enough to begrudge the spoiled offspring of the rich and famous, Nick Hogan (son of Hulk and recent MIRRF Linda) is suing a Florida sherriff’s department after they released tapes of him complaining about spending eight months in jail (for drag racing while drunk, which has left his friend and fellow passenger in “critical condition”), specifically in a cell “half the size of [his] bathroom at home.” Nick was also allegedly recorded asking his pop to set him up with a reality show upon release from the clink. Because any good parent knows that after eight months in solitary confinement, a kid’s best chance at being healthily rehabilitated back into society is, of course, to be endlessly followed by cameras and manipulative producers.
Science Buzz Childhood obesity rates among American kids may have finally leveled off after years of rising steadily. Perhaps parents have finally learned that three cheeseburgers isn’t going to help Jack and Jill climb the hill to fetch a pail of water (unless, of course, it’s a pail of cheeseburgers).
Politics Buzz Video parodies are popping up left and right in response to Hillary Clinton’s “Red Phone” ad campaign. Although would it really be so bad if we elected the cast of Ghostbusters to office? Our vote’s officially on Rick Moranis.
Politics Buzz The Center For Public Integrity compiled a database of lies told by the Bush White House regarding Iraq since 2001, tallying 935. In other news, puppies are cute.
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Nicolas Cage’s money woes aren’t all his money man…
GOING VIRAL ONNewser
We’re surprised her wig didn’t flee the scene.
GOING VIRAL ONBest Week Ever
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Todd C. 5 hours ago
Looks like everyone played their best poker face.
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Simona Halep, a young tennis prodigy known more for her sports bra …
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