Don't drink too much, don't swing a baby, and definitely don't drink too much and then swing a baby — or even a very small child. Also, if you are a baby, stay away from parties.
Food Buzz A refillable jug for carrying fresh beer home from the local brewery is a way to buy cheap beer without the wasteful packaging. There’s something so old-fashioned and quaint about the idea of carrying home some artisanal beer in a big jug. It’s like something Hansel and Gretel would do if they were wastoids.
Food Buzz This sweet wine is the perfect summer drink, and did you know that it has 20% fewer calories than regular wine? It’s kind of like for the sort of people who think Olive Garden is authentic Italian food. But it’s actually kind of delicious. I can’t wait for the impending Zima comeback.
Food Buzz Drink holders that look, and roll on, like condoms which keep beer/drink cold. The perfect accompaniment to those twist n’ shots (aka greatest invention ever made) for your next frat party.
Food Buzz Cointreau sells special instructions and tools to create solid iridescent pearls of Cointreau liqueur with edible flakes of 24-carat gold inside. It’s the future of booze! I’m still getting over the novelty of Jell-o shots.
Culture Buzz A simple, two-minute test that detects alcohol in breast milk so new moms can monitor the safety of their alcohol levels. Drunk babies are so annoying, with all their puking and slurred speech and whatnot. Now you can take the booze out of the baby, but you don’t have to take the booze out of the mom.
Food Buzz Chateau Thomas Winery revealed their new wine called Slender that has no carbs and no calories. I’m envisioning the ears of drunkorexic girls around the world perking up.
Food Buzz Just separate the skittles by color, add to vodka, let the alcohol absorb the color, and drain for candy-colored vodka. Taste the rainbow! Especially if you have any plans for getting gaysted this Valentine's Day.
Food Buzz Japanese beermaker, Sapporo will be marketing their first “space beer” in November using barley from the International Space Station. They’re only making 100 bottles, which means all of us regular people unwilling to shell out more than $3 for a beer will have to stick to astronaut ice cream to get a taste of space.
Clip from a Japanese TV show features a monkey bartender. As the human race de-evolves, monkeys will one day inherit the earth.
Food Buzz A seller on Etsy has crafted vegan soaps made from Pabst and Guinness. This is probably the last thing you want to bathe yourself with the morning after a vomitous night of binge drinking. But for any of you who have ever looked at a keg and wished you were soaking in it, bathing with beer soap might be the next best thing.
Culture Buzz Britain’s first Islamic pub provides a recreational place for Muslims to hang out and relax in, without the beer. Is it a waste to hang out in a bar and not get wasted? (Thanks for the tip!)
Food Buzz The NY Times reports on popular new cocktails that feature eggs as an ingredient. It’s an irresponsible new way to get your protein for the day! We predict the next hot cocktail trend will be a melted slice of cheese over your glass.
Celebrity Buzz Kate Bosworth claims she had to get completely wasted off of Grey Goose in order to complete a sex scene for her new movie. Kate just loves getting wasted! Oh, celebrities. Sometimes they really are just like us.
Celebrity Buzz We bring you the Top Drunken Celebrity Appearances of all time, inspired by Paula! Remember, working through your denial is always the first step in any alcoholics anonymous program.
Food Buzz Bacon infused vodka recipes are catching on with adventurous drinkers. Long known as a gateway meat, tempting even the strictest vegetarians to stray, bacon has now found its way into our martinis. Bacontarians rejoice!
Food Buzz Pre-mixed Budweiser and Clamato cocktails are now available in stores nationwide. It’s kind of like carbonated tomato soup, and sure to become a staple in any drunkorexic’s diet.
Culture Buzz A website that lets you rank photos according to how wasted the subjects look. Fall in love with the internet all over again.
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