‘Cause Happy Meals never came with hand puppets!
Dear ’90s kids, you weren’t the only ones to experience some of these things.
Clearly the TMNT toy line’s designers were like, “Fuck it, some kid will buy it.”
‘Cause you still know all the moves to the Spice Girls videos.
Felicitys always be like, Would you so kindly get out the way bitch.
Oh, how we yearn for the days of Dream Phone.
Plus the highly dangerous ’90s toys you loved so much, the new pizza with fried-chicken instead of dough, and ways to speed up your metabolism.
Because of course your childhood had base notes of Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker and top notes of jelly sandals.
All I have to say is: It’s good to be Barbie. And, yes, for the record, life in plastic is indeed fantastic.
Sure, you remember Mall Madness, the essential slumber party board game, but what about Ask Zandar?
Why call them “stick-on” earrings if they don’t actually stick on?
But muuuum, everyone has light up trainers.
Nothing made you want to get an bathtub quicker than having one of these bad boys to play with.
American Girl dolls, old-timey dresses… What was with our obsession with the past?
Come on, admit it: You still want that Talkboy!
BRB, eBaying all of these toys right now.
In 1994, Mila was just another Barbie girl, in the Barbie world.
We’d skate, bowl, paint plaster, spinart shirts, and swim. But there was nothing better than getting that precious bag of party favors at the end of the night.
I have had bruises on my shins since the ’90s.
It would appear that Polly Pocket is basically homeless.
Because it wasn’t all about Power Rangers, Furbies, and Beanie Babies.
Your parents were right — you should have never cut Barbie’s hair.
And so we meet again, Lil Miss Makeup.
The ’80s and ’90s were a dark time for Ken.
’80s and ’90s kids…are you hungry? You are now.
Probably…unless you’re a die-hard Saved by the Bell fan. (And that’s cool, too.)