Cutting down Andy Rooney’s 60 Minutes monologues — keeping only his first and last sentences — changes them from windy rants to haiku-like gems. It’s got the same bizarre impact as Garfield Minus Garfield.

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The Best Links:

1. Andy Rooney Game: The Pope
2. Andy Rooney Game: Desk
3. Andy Rooney Game: Junk Mail
4. Andy Rooney Game: Surprise Party
5. Andy Rooney Game: Memorial Day
6. Andy Rooney Game: Happy Birthday
7. Andy Rooney Game: Planning A Trip

SCIENCE BUZZ: Gastric bypass surgery can cure obesity, type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, and reduce the risk of cancer. A recent report by 60 minutes is drawing attention to the benefits of gastric bypass surgery. The operation can reduce your risk of diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Now you have an excuse other than vanity for getting your stomach stapled. You will also save money on donuts, egg rolls, and other tempting fried foods.

The Best Links:

1. Gastric Bypass Cures Obesity, Cancer, and Diabetes According to 6o Minutes Report (Video)
2. I Had No Idea “Gastric-Bypass Surgery Causes Immediate Remission of Type 2 Diabetes, Stops Sleep Apnea, and May Even Reduce the Incidence of Obesity-related Cancer”
3. Gastic Bypass Surgery Video With Lots of Guts
4. Oklahoman Fatties Cure Their Diabetes With Gastric Bypasses
5. 10 Celebrities That Got Gastric Bypass Surgery
6. Oprah Talks With American Idol’s Randy Jackson About His Gastric Bypass