Why do we put fame ahead of stuff like “be the best mechanic I can be” or “raise a good family”? Because it’s a cultural axiom that being famous is awesome, and anything less is for chumps.

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Fulbright, a former Arizona pageant winner (and law clerk for a U.S. District Judge), is accused of kidnapping her boyfriend.

The Best Links:

1. Sadistic Beauty Queen Kumari Fulbright: Now Also A Bigot
2. Beauty Queen Vs. Fire Dancer: Who Has The Better Mugshot?
3. Beauty Queen Goes Bad
4. Beauty Queen Kumari Fulbright Became a Criminal.
5. Daily Dude I Want to Hit: Kumari Fulbright
6. Kumari Fulbright’s Terrifying Mugshot
7. Kumari Fulbright’s Facebook Profile
8. This Is The American Titocracy
9. When Did Kidnapping Become Sexy?
10. Kumari Fulbright Accused of Kidnapping in Arizona
11. Pinup Girl Law Student Indicted in Kidnap

Miss Teen South Carolina answers a beauty pageant question about American ignorance by showing off some of her own.

The Best Links:

1. Watch Lauren Upton answer several other questions (video)
2. “Hey, Americans can too find the U.S. on a map!”
3. South Africans For Miss South Carolina (Facebook group)
4. The Future of Our USAmerica for the Iraq and Asian countries
5. The Video: Miss Teen South Carolina Tries To Answer A Question
6. All About Miss South Carolina Teen USA
7. Video: Miss S.C. Teen USA’s Geography Pop Quiz
8. Lauren Caitlin Upton explaining herself on the Today Show (video)
9. Update: Pageant Contestant Explains Her Answer
10. Very Short List loves the Upton video
11. Transcript Of Her Answer
12. Map Of Miss Teen South Carolina’s Response
13. View From Australia: “Beauty queen’s blonde moment”
14. Miss South Carolina Teen USA Homepage

Star pole vaulter and high school senior Allison Stokke is plagued by unwanted internet popularity.

The Best Links:

1. Allison Stokke Is Now Open For Business
2. Allison Stokke has been replaced by Soccer Star Amanda Cicchini
3. Men Intrigued by Allison’s Pole-Handling
4. Stokke fan club with tons of pics and video links
5. Rumors of a Nike Contract are A-Stir
6. Allisonstokkepictures.com features creepy wallpapers and every Stokke picture on the net
7. Wikipedia Keeps Deleting the Allison Stokke’s entry
8. A gallery of 100 pictures!
9. OMG, watch this video until the end to see the local news anchors drool over Allison Stokke
10. Insane MySpace fan page with pervy slide show and 2500 “friends”
11. See the pictures that caused male bloggers to go nuts for this “Barely Legal Pole Vaulter”
12. Allison Stokke’s Life has Room for One “Douchebag” Only.
13. The Bloggers’ New Obsession: Allison Stokke
14. Allison Stokke on Teenwag.com: 42 Photos!
15. Allison Stokke’s Boyfriend Not Nearly as Hot as She Is
16. Alisson Stokke Crashed My Servers
17. Some Pics! And Even a Video!
18. Al Gore Ruining the Life of Young Pole Vaulters
19. I Would Love to Care about Pole Vaulting
20. Unwanted Attention Seems to Just Attract More Attention
21. Blogger defends Allison Stokke’s privacy
22. Is Allison Stokke Dating a Douchebag? Submit Your Thoughts
23. Allison Stokke Hits the Front Page of the Washington Post, Usually Reserved for Real News like the Iraq War
24. The Washington Post Article: Teen Tests Internet’s Lewd Track Record