Cristiano Ronaldo is not made from a plastic mold,some snaps of his practice with Real Madrid this week reveal he may need a bottle of Head & Shoulders.

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A new delicacy in China is being criticized: A part-fried fish is served alive on a plate for diners. In order to keep the carp alive chefs cook its body but wrap its head in a wet cloth to keep it breathing, before covering it in sauce and serving in on a plate.

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Link: http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7993

A Pennsylvania man faces charges after police say he beat his girlfriend with a cheesesteak. The 33-year-old man, who wasn’t identified by police, allegedly argued with his 23-year-old girlfriend after midnight on Tuesday. He then struck the victim in the face with the cheesesteak. Harassment charges were filed with the police department.

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After photos of a fusty Geena Davis hit the interwebs last week, the 53-year-old stunner was spotted looking faaaabulous having a ciggy at an outdoor cafe. Yup, she's still got it. UPDATE: That’s actually “You Spin Me Round” singer/tranny beauty Pete Burns, formerly of ’80s band Dead or Alive. We regret the error.

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This is one resemblance you don't want to hear.

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A Florida man who attacked another man was arrested after police were able to identify him by the victim’s description–he had a dollar sign tattooed on his face. Deshawn Montaye McQueen, 30, was arrested for crack cocaine possession and was charged with felony aggravated battery after an officer remembered a man with a ‘$’ tattooed on his face had an arrest warrant. Epic.

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Give him the death penalty. A pissed off ex-girlfriend (possibly/most likely) is spreading a hate campaign on a doucheface in Brooklyn. And she's sending a stern warning to ladies, everywhere.

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Link: http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7954

A UK woman with a medical condition that gives her 300 orgasms a day has finally found a man who can satisfy her–a 32-year-old neighbor. “I could do it 24 hours a day and so could he. I regularly run across the road to his house to have sex. We have sex at least 10 times every day,” says Michelle Thompson. A 43-year-old single mother of four who suffers from Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome–a condition that causes her to crave sex and climax every three minutes, even without a lover.

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Holy hell, if Chaz Bono wants to look like a convincing male, he really needs to consider letting some boob out. No man of his size can escape the dreaded man-boobs. Back in June (and in the same outfit), Chaz’s huge bust was untamed–even with them bound, and now cup size is…Kate Hudson. Do you think she had them sucked out?

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Link: http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7896

60 Minutes fossil Andy Rooney weighs in on the new U.S. Citizenship exam. Can you pass the new test? A passing score is reached by answering six out of 10 questions correctly. New test: * The Federalist Papers supported the passage of the U.S. Constitution. Name one of the writers. * The House of Representatives has how many voting members? * What territory did the United States buy from France in 1803?

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Back in 2000, Enrique Iglesias’ music video for “Sad Eyes” was too hot for tv, and his label kept it unreleased. Until now. The video features him in some phone sex-loving action, then a romp with a hooker. Finish it off with some jizzy tissues.

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Link: http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7824

Financial woes, more cheating, an unexpected baby, a career change, and a gay wedding—with an unexpected celebrity cameo singing at the reception. An Israeli paper has published the leaked Sex and the City 2 script, and here are all the details you've heard rumors about. Warning: Major spoilers ahead.

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Ladies (and fellas): If you haven’t seen a guy with a long stubbie yet, you don’t know what you’re missing.

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Phoenix police say a 21-year-old Sean Sexton, an Arizona State University student, went batshit crazy outside a local check cashing store on October 28. Sexton fired an Airsoft rifle at the store’s windows, causing more than $15,000 worth of damage.

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A homework assignment depicting a mom on a stage, grabbing a pole and receiving money from men is really something else….

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Incredibly, alcohol was not involved. But this cactus hug will land her in the ER urban legends hall of fame.

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Link: http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7779

Prior to cheating allegations, Fergie gave an interview to The Advocate and professed her penchant for hubby Josh Duhamel's big d*ck. Judging by these NSFW pictures, he must be a grower, not a shower.

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Link: http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7744

Atlanta Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez and his wife, actress October (yep, like the month), stripped down for the latest PETA campaign. The pair are featured naked for an anti-fur poster and an interview to PETA on their vegan lifestyle.

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Link: http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=7709

A deer was found dead after it rammed a 640-pound concrete statue of an elk in the backyard of a Wisconsin man. Bucks usually fight each other during breeding season, but unfortunately for this 180-pound deer, the life-like statue that was nearly three times its weight was no match for a fight. After ramming the statue like a mountain goat, the deer staggered 20 feet and fell dead.

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A deer was found dead after it rammed a 640-pound concrete statue of an elk in the backyard of a Wisconsin man. You can see it dead in the background, and it's fallen antlers next to the statue.

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