So your mid-twenties snuck up on you and now you don’t know how to handle your life:
1. So you aren’t where you thought you were going to be at “twentysomething”? There is no shame in that. STOP being so hard on yourself.
Your teenage dreams of being a CEO at 25 were unrealistic, let’s be honest.
2. STOP glorifying the past.
You’re doing yourself a great injustice if you think college beer pong was the pinnacle of what life has to offer.
3. STOP fretting about the future.
In the wise words of Marty Hart from True Detective, “For someone who thinks existence is futile, you certainly fret about it a lot.” Being hopeless and giving yourself an anxiety attack about the future don’t make sense fool.
4. STOP thinking about the fact that you are inching closer to death, osteoporosis, and dying alone. Repeatedly saying “I’m so old” will not make you feel better.
Also, it makes people who are actually older than you want to slap you in the face.
6. On that note, STOP dating people who are so obviously bad for you:
Be a little bit more picky. You earned it.
7. The easiest way to feel younger is to start dressing younger. RESIST THE URGE TO DO SO.
You are a cutie no matter what your age. Just make sure your pants don’t say it.
8. STOP thinking you are alone. These feelings you are feeling are pretty common.
9. STOP believing people on Facebook and Twitter have their shit together.
They don’t have their shit together and that’s exactly why they have to convince their 500 closest friends they do. Don’t fall victim to the bullshit.
10. STOP thinking that not knowing what will happen is a bad thing.
Think back to the kid you were who felt the promise of a new school year. Not knowing where the F your life is going means you have the OPPORTUNITY to decide what it is you WANT and equally as important — what you DON’T WANT.
11. STOP overthinking everything.
Overthinking goes hand in hand with chronic indecision. Do what you feel. It’s what you’ve been doing your whole life; don’t let quarter-life crisis thinking mode change that.
12. STOP associating with people who are bringing you down.
Your quarter-life crisis is exactly, that — YOURS. This time is “ME” time and you don’t have time to deal with “friends” who make you feel like their life is perfect and you are the only one falling apart. Think of your quarter-life crisis as a sort of social spring cleaning. Assholes to the left.
13. STOP giving yourself permission to be such a hot mess.
Excessive YOLO-ing is a problem. You do only live once but doesn’t mean that your reckless decisions as a means to cope with your quarter life crisis won’t catch up with you.
14. STOP being so negative.
15. Now START doing the things that make you happy.
THIS IS THE TIME. Leave all the indecision, nostalgia, and helplessness behind. This is when you will figure out what career you are passionate about, which friends are worth keeping, and what you want in a significant other. You got this!