99 Things That Suck Less Than Your Unpaid Internship

I got 99 problems and being an unpaid, underappreciated, and overeducated intern is the worst one.

Christina Lu / BuzzFeed

1. Hemorrhoids
2. The ending of Titanic
3. Breaking in new cheap shoes
4. Finding out that Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams had broken up
5. Four consecutive Facebook engagement announcements on your News Feed
6. Hearing your employed friends complain about their job
7. Finding out Dan was Gossip Girl — WTF.
8. Putting expired milk in your coffee
9. Leaving your wallet on the subway
10. Your phone having 1% battery life left
11. Dealing with the Delta Airlines “Help” Desk
12. Holding in gas
13. The price of gas
14. Getting so excited about food that you accidentally bite your own tongue
15. Untangling tangled headphones
16. Eating soggy cereal
17. Realizing there is already a Teen Mom 3
18. Losing your phone when it’s on silent
19. Learning Willow Smith was 9 when she whipped her hair back and forth
20. When you need to sneeze but it won’t come out
21. Reflecting on the fact that you actually studied for your SATs
22. Bad internet connection
23. Bad human connection
24. Ketchup water on your burger
25. Influenza
26. Learning on Facebook that assholes from high school are employed
27. People asking “Can I check us in on Facebook?”
28. Loud chewing
29. Guacamole being an extra $1.50
30. Hearing the words “moist” and “kumquat”
31. Squats
32. Seeing pictures of your ex with his new girlfriend/boyfriend
33. Realizing the only full-time job you’ve ever had is working on your résumé

It's a Laugh Productions / Via tabu.tumblr.com

34. Root canals
35. Wet socks
36. When they killed Marissa off The OC
37. Realizing the times are no longer new Roman
38. Growing out bangs
39. Someone asking to share your yogurt. Disgusting pervert.
40. Britney’s 2007 VMA Performance
41. Realizing you are not and will never be Blue Ivy Carter
42. The Sex and the City movies
43. Baby talk
44. People who spell “patience” like “patients” being employed
45. Birthday dinner “splitting the bill” nonsense
46. Failed attempts at dirty talk
47. Simple bitches
48. Crying babies and their parents who refuse to discipline them
49. Having to pay $80 for a T.I. calculator in high school
50. Being a wallflower — there are no perks.
51. Speaking to people who only talk in TBHs and IDCs
52. Over-plucked eyebrows
53. The anxiety of having too much TV on your queue
54. The way Willow used to talk on Buffy
55. The harassment of Adobe updates
56. Waiting on line at the DMV
57. The paranoia associated with LinkedIn stalking
58. People in Crocs
59. Third-wheeling
60. Having to say “Nice to meet you”
61. “He put a ring on it!” engagement announcements
62. A flood of “Happy New Year” texts
63. The stench of hot garbage juice
64. Self-diagnosed ADHD
65. The correct non-ironic use of #YOLO
66. Tyler Perry presents…

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67. Realizing you are adult enough to at least try kale
68. Adult cliques
69. When your favorite TV show goes on hiatus
70. Passive-aggressive “You filled up nicely” remarks
71. Constipation
72. Men who say “shorty”
73. Douchebaggery
74. Flash mobbing
75. People who lean on the poles on NYC subways
76. Accidentally sending embarrassing autocorrects
77. Splinters
78. Getting desperate enough to contemplate grad school
79. John Travolta pronouncing your name
80. People who exclaim “Vegas Baby!”
81. Taylor Swift getting more action than you
82. Back to school sales
83. Florida (this is debatable)
84. Arizona (this is also debatable)
85. Furniture store commercials
86. Overly attentive waiters
87. Waiters who probably definitely spit in your food
88. Bandanas
89. Eye exams
90. People’s titles for their Facebook photo albums
91. “Drops of Jupiter” by Train
92. Goatees, soul patches, etc.
93. The CD collection at Starbucks
94. Pink eye
95. New York Times wedding announcements
96. People who still wear “Livestrong” bracelets
97. Drinking warm water
98. Sandra Bullock’s douche of an ex
99. The price of gum nowadays

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