1. Be an active and willing participant in “photo fraud”:
“I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.”
― Tina Fey
2. Disregard Destiny’s Child’s advice and say passive aggressive things on the Internet:
For further reference, please read What Is A Subtweet?
3. …things you would never dare say to another human (or dog for that matter) in real life:
4. But good thing there is still a way to express tone and throw subtle shade on the Internet:
For more on this, please reference The 42 Ways To Type Laughter, Defined
5. OVERREACT WITH ALL CAPS!
6. Stage a “having a good time” picture solely for the purpose of sharing it on social media:
“Love my girls!!!” -Someone who hates these girls
7. Draft, delete, and redraft a GChat message to someone you are crushing on:
Just CTRL + ALT + DLT your emotions, over-thinker.
8. Try with all your power to make sure you don’t like a 40 week old picture of someone you are stalking on Instagram:
9. Completely fall head over heels in love with a complete stranger:
“OMG, look he’s on vacation!” -Stalker (you)
“OMG, look at his body!” -Stalker (you)
“OMG, his girlfriend isn’t even that cute” - Stalker (you)